Year of the MC

Work humor

2009-01-14T18:36:00.003-05:00

I was in the car transporting a mentally ill veteran to the hospital for his injection (medication). I was doing my best to listen to his woes as he was angry for a variety of reasons. I guess I was doing an ok job because he did his very best to pay me a compliment. He told me I would be a great stripper and would make a lot more money doing that than being a social worker. I laughed so hard that he started laughing too although I don't know if he knew why we were laughing. At least it lightened the mood and put a smile on his face.

Stupid people

2008-12-18T18:54:00.002-05:00

Everyone has those days when they do stupid things. Today was not my day. Instead, today was the day I was surrounded by others having their stupid day. That makes for a very bad day.

I have a very difficult patient who needed a refill on his medication. I e-mailed the psychiatrist yesterday. I spoke with the psychiatrist on the phone yesterday. I sent an alpha page to the psychiatrist yesterday...all three times requesting a refill of the medicine. After speaking with a very angry patient this morning, I e-mailed the psychiatrist again requesting the refill. She responds with something about "I wonder what this patient is thinking and what he really wants." HE WANTS HIS MEDICINE!!! Stupid person number one.

I was supposed to have a cookie exchange at work today. The planner of the exchange wanted to suck up to the bosses and give them cookies too. Since one of the two bosses was leaving early, another cookie exchanger took her cookies and my cookies to the planner to have them delivered before the boss left. The planner assumed the cookie exchange was then over but didn't tell anyone that and didn't bothering showing up to the meeting place. Stupid person number two.

One of the other cookie exchangers showed up to the meeting place for the exchange but hasn't ever been to this meeting place before. Stupid person number three, who has no idea what is going on and isn't involved at all, tells the cookie exchanger that she is probably in the wrong building and sends her next door. Next door tells her they don't know anything about a cookie exchange so she leaves and goes back to the hospital.

In the meantime, I am wasting precious note writing time hanging out at the meeting place for an exchange that no one shows up to. Maybe it was my stupid day after all. I think I need a vacation.

Thanksgiving leftovers

2008-11-30T18:18:00.002-05:00

We had this wonderful Thanksgiving meal in Chicago with my parents over the weekend. We drove home and about an hour outside of Chicago realized we forgot our leftovers. I am very very sad. No turkey, no mashed potatoes with gravy. I was hoping for turkey sandwiches for lunch this week. Turkey soup perhaps? Nope. Nada. Nothing.

Ya know those questions things you hate to fill out...

2008-11-24T20:26:00.002-05:00

I received this from a friend of mine the other day. I thought these questions were pretty fun being the holidays and all. It is one of those where you see the answers from your friend, delete their answers, put in your own, and send it off to a million people in your address book who probably aren't interested. Well, I thought I would include my answers just for the fun of it and to say I actually blogged again.

1. Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your family and friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to
you......Tis the Season to be NICE

2. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags because I lack the knack for nice wrapping. My corners never look right and the paper always gets bunched. My gifts generally look as though they were wrapped by a 6 year old.

2. Real tree or Artificial? I always said real but I'm getting cheaper in my old age and realize the sense of purchasing just one tree and sticking with it. However I do love the smell of a real tree.

3. When do you put up the tree? This is assuming we put up a tree at all. Every other year we are in Chicago and this year we are in Ohio. It kind of kills the desire to put up a tree when you aren't there. Plus we will be in Chicago three weekends out of the next four which is also cause for not getting a tree.

4. When do you take the tree down? When it dies.

5. Do you like eggnog? I love it but realize how bad it is for me so I avoid it.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? If I can't think of one, does that mean I received too many gifts as a kid?

7. Hardest person to buy for? It used to my by brother in law until it worked out that I don't have to buy for him. Now it is my dad. How many years in a row can he ask for socks, undershirts, an umbrella, a belt, a tie, and dress shirts. BORING!!!

8. Easiest person to buy for? My mom. She loves everything and appreciates whatever we give her...even if she has to fake it on occasion.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? No because we haven't gotten that far in buying Christmas decorations. My parents have one and my mom insists putting baby Jesus in Mary's awkwardly outstretched arms because she is convinced Mary wouldn't leave her newborn sitting in hay. (Not a bad point if you ask me.)

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I send a Christmas letter but it is getting expensive and sometimes the creative juices aren't always flowing.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? I'm not very good at "favorite" questions.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually after Christmas unless I'm inspired beforehand and find something that is just perfect.

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Too many things to name. Let's leave it at I love to eat anything.

15. Lights on the tree? I grew up with multicolored lights on the tree. I prefer white lights when decorating the outside of the house.

16. Favorite Christmas song? Here we go again with the "favorite" questions.

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Always travel but never on Christmas day. I like to arrive a day or two early and leave a day or two after. It's all about the relaxation.

18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Not a chance. Is there a Dopey?

19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star or bow.

20. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Always Christmas Day although the Elves arrive Christmas Eve with new jammies for everyone.

21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The traffic, the crowds, and the need to give too much when so many others have too little.

22.Favorite Ornament theme or color? Favorite, favorite, favorite, blah, blah, blah...

23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? My mom's buttery turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, cinnamon rolls, pumpkin pie.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? Chris keeps asking me this same question and I don't have an answer for him either.

25. Who is most likely to respond to this? My mom.

26. Who is least likely to respond to this? Christopher. He will read it, laugh, and delete it.

It's been a while...

2008-11-15T15:24:00.011-05:00

It dawned on me yesterday that I haven't blogged in forever. It is directly related to being on facebook which is an addiction that has captured my husband but which is slowly fading for me...most likely the reason why I'm now blogging again.

A decent amount has happened since I last wrote. First, Chris and I both passed our boards and are officially licensed clinical social workers. For social workers, this is as good as it gets. Most people receive a pay raise with this achievement but for us, we get to keep our jobs which, in a sense, is a pay raise. We took the test October 20th and I think we are just beginning to feel as though we have our lives back after spending so much time with our nose in the books. For fun, we spent one study day at Oliver Winery in Bloomington, IN and yes, we actually studied. At the end of our study session we goofed around in their garden a little.

Chris took me to a Chicago Bear's game as my 30th birthday present and the weather couldn't have been better.

Then right before Halloween, we went to a pumpkin patch and went apple picking with a friend of ours.

Last weekend we went to Gatlinburg, TN for a mini vacation with some friends of ours. We rented a fabulous cabin with three other couples. This is a picture Chris took from the inside of our cabin looking out onto the back deck.

Each couple had their own bedroom and walk in shower. There were flat screen tvs in every room, a hot tub, a huge kitchen, a pool table, etc... We hiked, zorbed (more on that later), ate, and most importantly, relaxed. It was just what we needed and felt like a bit of a reward for our hard work. One hike we did required scaling up some rocks to get to the very top. We got about half way when I chickened out and decided that going further without being roped in wasn't worth the risk. These is a picture of Chris going up and another of me at the furthest point we were willing to go.

There were some beautiful places along the hike. This was one of them, albeit with Chris and I a bit washed out from the flash.

Another little reward for passing the exam was the purchase of a new counter top for our kitchen. We have never liked what we have and have always wanted a seamless kitchen sink that is attached from under the counter. We picked one out and it is going to be installed in a few weeks. Our winter projects are to paint the cabinets, attach hardware, and depending on how our yellow walls look, possibly paint the kitchen. Of course none of this will start until the new year since we are going to be out of town almost every weekend starting with Thanksgiving.

Now, back to zorbing. Our friend did take video of us doing this but we haven't received it yet. I'm sure it won't look much different so check out this from youtube. It is the same company...the only place to zorb in the United States.

There is water in the inside ball we are in which prevents us from going upside down. We get wet but I don't know when I have laughed as hard as when Chris and I did this together.

Needless to say that Chris and I are still enjoying life together and the blessings we have been given. Stay tuned and hopefully it won't take two months for me to blog again.

Time for a change at 8500 hits

2008-09-28T21:48:00.003-04:00

Chris and I are sitting here watching the Chicago Bears game (we are currently winning by the way) and playing around on the computer. We decided it was time to change the blog a little bit. Hope you like the new look of it. The only thing it lost from the old version was the counter. I'm very proud to say that I had reached 8500 hits. Either people have a lot of time on their hands or they have a lot of time on their hands because someone clicking on my blog that many times is absolutely crazy. Thanks to all who have visited and I hope that I provided a few laughs over the last few years and will provide a few more in the future.

Neighborhood practical jokes

2008-09-11T21:25:00.002-04:00

I was looking out the window onto my deck yesterday to check on my tomato plant when I saw that I had acquired a couch. A rather large and unattractive couch I might add. This couch was sitting right in the middle of my desk. After taking a second and third look, I called Chris in Chicago to ask who he had told could put this said couch on said deck. He was just as surprised as I was and so the investigative work began.

Wayne, our designated neighborhood watch, said he was volunteering all day and didn't know anything. Dave, our next door neighbor wasn't answer his door. Eric however... Eric, our neighbor who lives on the other side of Dave, he was outside and had too innocent look on his face. He admitted that Dave had purchased a new couch and that he thought that his old couch would be a good addition to our deck. Gee, thanks Dave. I spent some time on the couch last night making phone calls and was going to hang out there tonight with my friend Vanessa but it was RAINING! so we stayed inside. We stayed inside long enough until we had a plan. Always beware of paybacks.

Dave now has a bathroom vanity with sink (minus the mirror of course) on his sidewalk directly in front of his porch. It should be a good welcome as he walks out his front door tomorrow morning.

Annoyed

2008-09-10T18:24:00.002-04:00

Yup. You heard right. I'm annoyed. A first for me I'm sure. Ok, well maybe not but moving along with the story... In the state of Indiana, for a social worker to become clinically licensed, they have to have 3 years of supervised social work experience post grad school. Then they have to obtain oodles of paperwork turned in at the Indiana licensing agency and pray it isn't lost (which happened to one of my friends.) Once the board reviews the application, we have wait for a letter to confirm our approval before we can register for the exam. Once we register, we have to wait for another letter so we can choose a date and time for the exam. And then we study, and study, and study, and study, because the pass rate in Indiana isn't so hot. So either Indiana has really dumb social workers or the test is stinkin hard. I think it is a combo of the two. Anyway...

I turned in my application. They never sent me an approval letter and after a month had passed I called and was informed I was one month short of supervision hours and needed to submit another form. Gee, thanks for letting me know. I re-submitted the paperwork and finally received my approval letter. Then I got on-line and registered for the exam, of course paying for the exam and study materials. I received an e-mail two days later stating my registration was denied. Apparently the licensing agency forgot to send the registration people my name. Oops. Oh, and thanks for the apology.

I was going to call the registration people back knowing they now had my name when it dawned on me that they had my payment already which the bank said was pending. When I called I was informed that of course I wouldn't be billed twice, that they did need a credit card number again for me to re-register for the exam, and (not quite in these words) that I was stupid. Apparently she isn't a social worker since we are all so nice and cheerful all the time. She said that since my registration was denied that the payment wouldn't go through and "hadn't I checked my bank today?" No I hadn't because I checked it yesterday and was at that moment sitting in a car waiting for a veteran to get out of the grocery store.

So as it stands, my payment (two days later) is still pending, I'm still not registered for this stupid exam that will suck to take, and the clock is ticking. I have one year from my date of eligibility (early June) to pass the exam before I am canned at my job. So yeah, I'm a little annoyed.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Funny stuff

2008-08-26T19:21:00.000-04:00

New Orleans vacation/conference

2008-08-17T16:51:00.003-04:00

What a crazy trip!!! New Orleans wouldn't normally be our first choice for a vacation spot but I had a work related conference so we decided to make a trip out of it. The trip started with arriving at the airport only to be told that my work never purchased a plane ticket but made some sort of general reservation. We called the travel department at the VA hospital frantically but to no avail and had to purchase a very expensive one way ticket. Then we had to run through the airport after learning Chris' ticket was standby and the plane was full. We got very lucky that others on the place were willing to give up their ticket so Chris was able to get on the plane. Thankfully we made it safely to New Orleans and settled into our very nice hotel room...courtesy of VA hospital.

The first night had some excitement when I woke up in the middle of the night and smelled ammonia. It was really strong and I was surprised when, after waking up Chris to inform him we were being gassed, that he couldn't smell it. We talked about it the next morning and determined I must have had an olfactory hallucination. I was vindicated when two days later I smelled it again and this time Chris smelled it too. It odor came in waves and since we weren't spending much time in the hotel room, it was easy to ignore. The second to last day though, ignoring it became impossible. The smell was so strong it was giving us a headache. After dragging the housekeeper into the room to confirm we weren't crazy, we went to the desk and informed them we wanted a new room which we were given. That night, in our new room, we heard yelling in the hallway. A man was standing outside a room door and was cursing and threatening the couple inside. We called security and despite us staring into our peephole, we couldn't see what happened. We did see the couple in the room (when they walked by our peephole) get escorted off the hotel room floor by the police and we heard the woman say they were separated and this was the first time her husband had seen her with another man. Interesting...

The thing about New Orleans that Chris and I learned is that mid August is NOT the time to go. We were told this by a few locals and were informed that the heat and humidity would improve in about 3 weeks. In the meantime, Chris and I avoided the sun and after walking around each day, would lie on the bed with our hands and feet in the air to bring down the swelling. Imagine a dead bug. That was us. This is a picture of the trolleys. We were going to take the St. Charles trolley to the garden district to walk around and look at the beautiful houses. Instead, we stayed on the trolley until the end of the line and then hopped back on and took it home. It was just too darn hot to walk.

Two other low lights had to do with walking the streets of New Orleans. First, the place smells foul. The French Quarter reeks of stale beer, vomit, and garbage. The garbage is place on the edge of the sidewalk but the streets and sidewalks are so narrow that it is impossible to avoid walking dangerously close to the garbage. Second, the begging for money was out of control. The moment I pulled out my camera to take a picture, someone would offer to take the picture for a small tip. There were different mimes or clowns in the streets, children tap dancing, and the run of the mill homeless person all wanting money. I had one woman put her arm around me and proceeded to call me stingy after I wouldn't give her any money. She then tried to get money from Chris and I informed her that the bad news of the day was that Chris was just as stingy as me. She left quite annoyed. Oh well.

There were a few highlights...Chris getting peed on by a baby alligator, feeding alligators marshmallows during the swamp tour, eating, eating, and eating. And best of all, Chris and I not only remembered to bring the camera, we actually used it.

Just another day at the office

2008-07-29T18:34:00.002-04:00

My morning started by meeting a veteran at his house to transport him to the hospital to have some bandages changed. We sat in his house as he smoked his last cigarette before walking out to my car. I sat down in the driver's seat and looked over at the passenger door as he opened it. Sadly I had a bird's eye view of his pants fly that was gaping open and he wasn't sporting any under garments. I got quite an eyefull and gently suggested to him that his zip up his pants before getting to the hospital. That is a horrible vision to have engrained in my memory and it will take years of therapy to move beyond it.

My next veteran wanted to go bra shopping. Not a big deal except that the veteran is a man. We went to a store and he said he needed a 46DD. Funny thing since I wouldn't have put him over a B cup...even with the estrogen patches he wears. (He is a bit mixed up sexually and that is the least of his problems.) Anyway, he purchases 4 bras and then tells me that they didn't have his size. I suggested he return them and said I would find him a place where they did have his size. He wasn't going for it and began to escalate. He started yelling at me that I didn't understand and that his testicles were hurting because his bras were all too tight. Then he pulls up his shirt and demands I look at his breast. I figured I had already seen the bottom half of one veteran, what was the difference in seeing the top half of another? Please note that he was not wearing a bra. I looked at his breast to tell him that yes, I did see it and yes, I'm sure it was terrible to be in such pain. After calming him down and helping him bring his groceries to his apartment, he told me that the bra he was wearing was uncomfortable and too small. I clarified that he was meaning the bra he was wearing at that exact moment and he said yes. He must have been meaning his invisible bra... Or he is crazy. I think the latter of the two...

This all happened yesterday but it must be the week of exposure because I had another veteran pull up his shirt to pinch his nipple during a home visit today. He said he was sure he had breast cancer due to a lump he found. I convinced him to 1) call his doctor and 2) put his shirt down.

Just another day at the office...

The Foot...final update

2008-07-28T18:51:00.004-04:00

At least we hope it is the final update. Things are better. We met with the doc last Friday and were finally given some good news. He said he thinks Chris' foot will heal on its own without further medical intervention. The top skin of his foot is pretty hard and the doctor said the skin will most likely sluff (how do you spell that darn word?) off on its own. Chris is also noticing that he is lacking feeling in certain parts of his foot when someone touches it but we are guessing that is part of the dead skin thing and nothing to worry about...we hope.

The part of his foot that was black is still black and has now leaked out blood into a thin layer of skin just above the surface. It is kinda neat to push the blood around with your finger. Chris wanted me to take a video of us doing this but a picture of his foot will have to do and you will have to use your imagination. I'm just not that techy.

Chris went back to work for the first time today. He also spent 45 minutes at the gym which was pretty exciting. He is finally off crutches and manages fairly well with his walking boot. He is almost completely off of his pain killers. He is still finishing off his antibiotics but should be done with those soon. All of the prayers, meals, offers to mow the lawn have been wonderful. Thank you to everyone who helped or offered to help. We are very lucky to have you in our lives.

The Foot II (Still PG-13)

2008-07-22T17:23:00.003-04:00

Chris and I went to the ortho doc last Thursday which was the last post. The doc decided Chris' foot was getting worse instead of better and scheduled him to go into surgery the next morning and to stay through the night. The surgery went well and the doc removed 100cc's of red gunk. He said the foot had made a sort of cavern to hold the fluid and it was easy to remove and "power wash" the inside.

The big question was what kind of infection Chris might have...staph, MRSA, etc... We were put into a huge hospital room with a negative airflow sign in the door which wasn't very encouraging. We met with the infectious disease doc who said he wouldn't have the cultures back until Monday but put Chris on hefty antibiotics. The night in the hospital was pretty rough as Chris was in a lot of pain and the morphine was no longer doing the trick. We finally made it back home Saturday around 1:00pm and spent the rest of the day (my 30th birthday) relaxing. My parents were in town and were wonderfully helpful as we made the transition from hospital to home.

Chris talked to the infectious disease doc on Monday and we were told that nothing grew. We took that as good news...until today. Today we met with the ortho doc who removed Chris' bandages from surgery. I think we were all surprised with how bad Chris' foot looked. The doc said that he is doubtful there isn't an infection regardless of the cultures done. He explained that since Chris was on antibiotics since the injury two weeks ago, unless the infection was raging, it would prevent any growth in a culture. He said that from looking at Chris' foot, he believes that it could be strep and that Chris will need to continue on the antibiotics. The other concern was a black spot on his foot which the doc said is necrotic. This is a fancy medical word for dead. I heard the words skin graff, plastic surgeon. The doc also talked about having ongoing concerns that Chris might spike a fever from an infection. When the doc had said post surgery that Chris could return to work whenever he felt good enough to do so, the doc now said that Chris wasn't allowed to return to work for at least a week and that he needed to be seen again this Friday.

So, prayers needed still. We never expected all of this to happen. We figured we would go home after Montrose and that the foot would heal after a few days and this would be over. This continues to be a challenge for both of us. Chris is having a difficult time staying home, especially since he is usually so active. (Think gym workouts 5 days a week at 5:30a.m.) I'm having a difficult time running the show by myself. We have been blessed with a wonderfully supportive church who is bringing us meals every other day. I'll keep you posted. These are the pictures I took in the doctor's office this morning after the bandage was removed and before another one was put on.

The Foot (PG-13 due to graphic content)

2008-07-16T20:30:00.003-04:00

Since the majority of my readers consist of family members, most of them could probably write this blog entry since they were all there when this happened. Just in case there are a few random readers, this is for you.

As I was growing up, my immediate family would meet in Pennsylvania with my extended family every summer for a vacation. We stayed in my grandma's log cabin and spent our days building forts in the woods behind the cabin. I hadn't been back to the cabin in 9 years since my grandma died. When my cousins, Chris, and I went wandering back to our old forts, we realized there was nothing left of them. We decided we needed to build a fort that would withstand the test of time. That fort started and quickly ended with a rock wall.

Not having been in the woods for so many years, there was a lot of debris that covered the large flat rocks we were using. Chris picked up a rock that appeared much smaller than it actually was. The rock was so heavy it slipped out of his hands, dropped on the ground, rolled down and crushed his foot. I'm not sure how he managed to get down the hill on his own but by the time my dad and I got to him...roughly two minutes after the accident...his foot was so swollen already that we almost had to cut his beloved Chaco sandals off of him. We rushed him to the tiny small town ER and they x-rayed his foot determining that nothing was broken. We were given no real direction on what to do next, Chris was handed crutches, and we were on our way.

Fast forward to a week later. Chris' foot was still so swollen and painful that he went to the doctor and had an MRI done. His ortho doc that he was finally referred to over a week after the accident said that the ER was correct, that no bones were broken, but that his injury was just as bad, if not worse with all of the soft tissue damage.

He has a large hematoma on the top of his foot that can't be drained because it is too long after the initial injury and all of the blood has coagulated. Chris needs to massage the hematoma in an attempt to break it up. Of course he can barely touch it without extreme pain and that is when he is on the narcotics prescribed to him.

He noticed yesterday that his foot was starting to get red. I suggested he call his ortho doc and let him know since his follow up appointment isn't scheduled for another 5 days. Included are pictures he took today. Keep in mind that this happened almost two weeks ago. He is still on crutches. It is hard to see the bruising running along the sides of his foot but you can see some of the bruising that has moved into his toes. It has been a rough few weeks.

Busy, busy, busy

2008-07-13T19:38:00.003-04:00

It's been a very busy summer for the Ray family. We kicked it off by going to Florida the first weekend in June to see my sister's family...see last post. The next weekend we took it easy to celebrate Flag Day. How does one celebrate Flag Day you might ask? Great question. Moving right along... The third weekend I was on call for Clarian North hospital...also see a previous post...and Chris was in Washington DC for a conference. The last weekend in June we drove two and a half hours north to Ft. Wayne, IN to go boating with friends of mine from college. The first weekend in July we were in Pennsylvania for the Torrey family reunion and for this weekend, we just returned from another boating trip in Ft. Wayne, IN about an hour ago.

This coming weekend we will be home to celebrate my 30th birthday. I don't know what Chris has in store for me but I'm excited.

Finally, some pictures

2008-06-30T17:39:00.003-04:00

And no, I didn't have some epiphany and actually remember our camera on our trip to FL. My lovely sister Jill sent these to me. They are of my sister, our nephew Deven, and us. Enjoy.

On call

2008-06-21T15:33:00.002-04:00

Beep, beep, beep, beep. That was the sound I heard at 2:30 this morning. I returned the page and spoke with the doctor in the emergency room at the hospital I am on call with. She had an intoxicated man who was talking about wanting to commit suicide. In the state of Indiana, the legal limit for alcohol is .08. This man was at a .5. Most of us would be dead. The doc then decided that I could wait to come in until 5 or 6 in the morning since he was so drunk I probably wouldn't be able to assess him properly. Too bad the doc didn't decide that until AFTER she paged me. I did my best to shut my brain down and fall back asleep.

I dragged my sorry butt in the hospital at 5:45, still very tired after not sleeping well after getting the page. I determined the man was no longer suicidal, also not as intoxicated which is not uncommon and which the doc should have considered. I spoke with the patient's 77 year old father who was infuriated with me because I wouldn't have his son sent to a psych unit against his will. I tried to explain the whole, "People have civil rights thing" but it didn't go over too well. Neither did the whole, "I can't tell you what your son said due to patient confidentiality." I think it was then he got into my personal space and said something about his son killing a family member of mine while driving drunk. I knew it was time to go home.

I crawled back into bed and slept for about an hour before I woke up to beep, beep, beep, beep. I returned the page and was informed there was a mother at the hospital with her daughter and the mother wanted to go home, check on her son and do some things around the house before returning to the hospital. Oh, and she wanted the hospital to pay for the cab fare both ways. I was the mean old social worker who said no, was informed by the mom it had been done for her all week, and told her I would call the full time social worker and get back with her. Thankfully the full time social worker is a friend of mine who said her story was accurate and that I needed to inform her this would be the last time prior to discharge that we would do this.

I gave up on trying to sleep so Chris and I walked down to the Farmer's Market. On the way back, beep, beep, beep, beep. This time it was the hospital chaplin who explained that a guy who was engaged to a patient at the hospital was having his utilities shut off due to not paying the bills. He wanted our help with the utilities but didn't want his fiance to find out. I told the chaplain he was out of luck on a Saturday and to try back on Monday.

I hate this job. I actually quit this job but decided to keep this last weekend to help out. Knowing I will never have to do this again is keeping me sane. I'm off to a wedding reception and a goodbye party. We'll see how long I can attend before I hear the beep, beep, beep, beep.

The longest short trip ever

2008-06-11T14:06:00.002-04:00

Chris and I planned a short vacation to visit my sister Jill in Naples, FL. Since I am still new at my job, my vacation time is very limited which in turn mean that our trip was going to be very limited. We purchased plane tickets to fly out of Indianapolis right after work last Thursday. We were supposed to arrive in Ft. Myers around midnight and have all day Friday and Saturday. Our return flight on Sunday was supposed to get us back to Indy with enough time to grocery shop and prepare for work the next day. I think you know where I'm going with this...

We arrived at the Indianapolis airport only to be told that our plane was having mechanical problems and would be delayed. The concern was that our connecting flight through Atlanta might be missed but were assured that the connection was also running late so we might make it in time. Despite our frantic runs through the Atlanta airport, we did not make our connection. Instead, we were put up in a smelly hotel that is doomed to shut down based on what we saw. I was planning on using Jill's toiletries because Chris and I didn't want to check any baggage. When we realized we needed toothpaste, I was given plastic disposable toothbrushes with plastic bristles that have the "convenience" of the toothpaste already being included. If you pushed up on the handle, it forced a pathetically small amount of what they say to be toothpaste between the plastic bristles which was just as helpful as not brushing your teeth at all. For all of you who know how weird I am about having fresh breath, I can guarantee you that no kissy face occurred in this hotel.

Did I mention that in this hotel, even the wine glasses in the bar smelled bad? Oh, and the hotel check in lady had to explain that the contractor and hotel owner had a falling out so before the contractor was fired, he installed all of the hotel door handles upside down so when opening the door you needed to life up instead of down.

Friday morning we arrived back at the airport VERY early, especially being that we arrived VERY late the night before. We boarded the plan and then we were told that the plan was having, you guessed it, mechanical problems. We sat for a few minutes before they got back on the overhead to announce that the problems were more serious than previously expected and we would need to get off the plane. So we waited...again. The plane eventually took off and we made it to Florida for a wonderfully relaxing 1 1/2 days. I would show you pictures but I forgot my camera. Big shocker I know. (See previous post.)

Sunday we left Jill's house around 9:00am to catch our plane. We were thrilled when this occurred without a problem. Our flight landed in Chicago on time. Too bad our flight out of Chicago wasn't on time. As a matter of fact, a storm had just blown through and many flights were cancelled, almost all were delayed. We were one of the delayed flights. It was supposed to be a two hour delay. It wasn't. Approximately twelve hours from the time Chris and I left Jill's house, Chris and I drove into our garage completely exhausted and having made the decision that we will NEVER (except for the family reunion trip that is already scheduled and paid for) have a layover again.

Playing hookie

2008-05-13T19:48:00.003-04:00

Chris and I played hookie a few weeks ago. We had both already been to the gym and were getting ready for work in our respective gym locker rooms. Chris sent the initial text message with the temptation of calling in sick. The magic words he used were something along the lines of, "We could go hiking." Sold! I called my boss and told her I had been having a lot of headaches lately (true) and that I was going to take the day off to relax (true if you call hiking the most difficult trails in the park relaxing) to fend off any more headaches. I hung up, drove home, and Chris and I packed up for a day of fun.

I finally remembered our camera so here are a few pics of our hike in Turkey Run State Park. The first picture is the dubious bridge we had to cross to get to the hikes we wanted. The last picture is where we ran into three older women who were trying to figure out how to hike through the stream and decided to watch us first to figure it out. Chris and I figured out that the trick was to find the 4 inch ledge along the side of the rock, walk gingerly along it using the sporadic fingerholds, and pray you didn't fall into what ended up being a decent drop into the water. Needless to say the women took their shoes off and walked in the water. Complete cheating if you ask me! The middle two pictures were of great scenery. Enjoy!

Team work

2008-04-06T17:38:00.002-04:00

I think that part of what makes a marriage work is having teamwork. Part of teamwork is bringing to the table different skill sets that compliment one another. One of my skills is baking. I have started a new weekend activity of making a new dessert every weekend. This weekend I made lemon icebox cookies. I also made rice krispie treats with cranberries and mini chocolate chips. My job is to keep us chubby.

One of Chris' skills is cooking. For example, he is currently making noodles from scratch, grilling chicken outside, and going to turn it into a creamy pepper pasta dish. It will be delicious. He was out of town the other day and when we talked on the phone before bed he asked what I had for dinner. Cereal and corn dogs of course. Was I actually supposed to cook? Chris' job is to keep us alive.

Morning clothes quandries

2008-03-30T13:03:00.002-04:00

I have discovered a problem with going to the gym in the mornings. It isn't exactly about the gym itself but more the dilemma about having to get ready to go to work at the gym after working out.

Chris and I have a routine each evening which involves packing our lunch, pre-setting the coffee maker, and packing our gym bag with the clothes we will wear to work the following day. None of this is problematic. The problem comes after I have showered and start pulling out the clothes chosen the night before from my gym bag. It is only then that I discover I have forgotten my belt. Or my shoes look completely ridiculous with my outfit. Or I packed pants I machine dried for the first time and didn't realize how much they had shrunk. Of course my shoes also had big heels on them that day so I looked like I was waiting for the next flood. I couldn't pull them low enough on my hips to avoid the "Is the Ark coming soon" look so after arriving at work, I took scissors and ripped the hem out of the bottom of each pant leg. So much for those pants...

Recently I decided I was tired of wearing the same outfits over and over so I pulled a shirt out of my closet that I never wear. Was I smart enough to try it on before tossing it in my bag? Of course not. After pulling on my pants at the gym, I realized I forgot my belt. Not a huge crisis. Not until I put my shirt on and remembered why I never wear this shirt. It is WAY TOO SHORT!! It was terrible. If I had remembered a belt, I could at least have hoisted my pants up high enough to look like Urkle and cover my belly. But between my sagging pants and the horribly short and tight shirt, I was a fashion nightmare.

Let me point out that one of the reasons I go to this specific gym is that it is the halfway point between home and work. The bonus to working out so early is that I get through the worst spot of traffic in Indianapolis before traffic even becomes an issue. This of course means that driving home to change a nightmare outfit is never a possibility. I would be at least an hour late to work. In the case of the no belt and too short/too tight shirt, my solution was to wear my coat zipped half way up the entire day. I only received a little bit of deserved abuse from my goodnatured coworkers and the shirt is now sitting in the pile to go to Goodwill.

I suppose this is one way of cleaning out the closet...

Indoor fun

2008-02-18T08:12:00.002-05:00

I realized something about myself last night...something disappointing. I realized that I don't take pictures. I also realized that I really like having pictures. Not a good combination. That is the biggest reason why there are so few pictures in my blog. I was thinking about all the things I wanted to write on and what great entries they would have been if I had remembered my camera. Sad.

Three weekends ago I went downtown Chicago to celebrate the 30th birthday of some friends. We went to a steak house and then to see My Fair Lady. It received great reviews...just not from us. The singers were difficult to understand. They were muffled and frequently the orchestra was louder than they were. Instead of sleeping in the city, I drove home to Wheaton and picked up my poof couch from college. It looks like an oversized bean bag chair. Instead of little beads, it is made of recycled mattresses which makes it the ultimate in comfort.

In my house, we have three bedrooms. One we turned into an office/poop room for the cats. While spending the weekend before Chicago in Lexington, KY with other girlfriends, it dawned on me that we should get rid of the office and turn it into a reading room. This would make it usable space since the office was going unused and would also allow for Chris and I to have a retreat when we needed alone time. I wish we had before and after pictures since the poof couch in the reading room is where I am sitting and it looks so different than before. Mijo has also decided he likes this room and if frequently found on the poof couch.

Anyway, getting to the title of this post, Chris and I went tobogganing two weekends ago in northern Indiana with another couple we are friends with. With the wind and having to wait in line 30 minutes for each ride down the track, it was really cold!! The track is refrigerated and with the two hills, we were able to reach 36 mph. After getting tired/cold of standing in line to go tobogganing, we decided to engage in some winter hiking. Chris and I were new at this but it was a lot of fun. I recall a snowball fight breaking out...

This past weekend we joined another couple and went indoor rock climbing. Initially I was hesitant since my last experience wasn't that great. This experience was completely different. I don't know how many walls I climbed but as long as I stuck to the easier ones, I was able to make it up with ease and build my confidence. The best part was my last climb. As more of a joke than anything else, I decided to try a wall that was inverted. My girlfriend had gotten a quarter of the way up before falling so that was my goal. I made it halfway up before losing my foothold and dangling in the air by my hand grips. I managed to hold on, re-establish my footing, and I made it to the top. I think my friends were as surprised as I was.

If only I remembered my camera...

Life at the new job

2008-01-28T19:28:00.000-05:00

I could have written many times earlier about the job. It certainly isn't for lack of stories. For me, it was about timing and desire. Well, the timing is right and the desire is here.

I'll call him The Grinch to protect those who aren't innocent but those whose name I can't say for HIPPA reasons. He is around 55 years old and has paranoid schizophrenia. Oh, and he is horribly mean. This is unrelated to his illness. He just happens to have the illness and be mean at the same time. I think the mean part came first but that is just my opinion. He is known for treating women poorly. For those who know psych terms, he has many transference issues. For those who don't know psych stuff, he had a bad relationship with his wife and takes it out on all other women.

I had met with him in his apartment on one other occasion. He was bearable. Not so today.

I arrived and he was already on edge and irritable. In the 5 minutes I was there he misunderstood (or didn't listen) to everything/anything I said which was all of about 2 sentences. He became hostile, said he wasn't a Jew and that he believed in God. I am going to note right here that my initial question was, "How are you?" Crazy question I know!!

Anyway, he said that he tells people that if they don't like him or don't like what he says that they can get the f*** out of [his apartment]. I asked if he has had to tell anyone that lately. He shared that he was telling me that and repeated himself louder. He continued to cuss me out using the "F" word, certainly winning the world record for number of times it can be said in such a short period of time.

I informed him in my calm and soothing tone of voice that I wasn't going to file a complaint but that I was going to leave. He became more hostile, continued to cuss me out saying the "F" word repeatedly, and finished by demanding I get the f*** out of his apartment and not to let the door his my a** on the way out. I kindly said I would call him later in the week to see if he was ready for a visit.

And then I called my mom. Moms are good for things like that, like being able to share exactly what was said and being appropriately appalled but not to appalled since she knows the population I work with. My next phone call was to my co-worker to inform him of my home visit with The Grinch. He said leaving was exactly the right decision.

Since I have only worked with kids, knowing what to do in situations with seriously mentally ill adults sometimes stumps me.

In my previous life as a child's therapist, I would have looked him in the eye and said, "It's ok to be mad. It's not ok to be mean" and I would have left. Perhaps I will try this next time. I wonder if The Grinch would beat his cussing world record. Probably but I would leave with a smile on my face. If they act like children, treat them like children.

Running

2008-01-13T18:32:00.000-05:00

There are three different kinds of runs.

There is the "I need to lose weight" run. Those are generally anguish filled and can be hard to maintain motivation to complete the run.

There is the "Gee it is lovely outside and I really want to get some fresh air" run. Those can be nice on 70 degree spring days when the birds are chirping.

Then there is the "I'm doing this for my mental health" run. For me, those are the best. The speed, distance, and length of time spend running are all completely up to you. I suppose so are the "Gee it is lovely outside" runs but the mental health runs are special.

To be outside and focus on the sound of your feet hitting the pavement...
To think about everything or nothing...
To simply be...

Tonight I went on a mental health run. It was 32 degrees outside and there were hardly any cars the road let alone runners. It was snowing and I could see my breath. It was calming, soothing.

It was perfect.

The best Christmas Ever!

2007-12-27T20:45:00.000-05:00

It wasn't about the gifts...although they certainly were nice...lots of shirts for work, workout clothes to inspire me to continue to go to the gym, and almost everything you can imagine with the Chicago Bears emblem. Chris' Indianapolis Colts were given a nod with a Colts scarf and Colts cups from my mom and a Colts football from me to Chris.

The holiday was spent doing nothing more than relaxing and spending quality time with family. We played Dominos (yes, it is a real game), put together most of a mystery puzzle, and played a new board game called Therapy. We laughed, told stories, and laughed some more. Oh yeah, and we also ate.

The only moment that brought sadness was saying goodbye to Tim, my brother, who is leaving for North Africa for two years to be a missionary. I'm not one for lengthy goodbyes and I don't think Tim is either. I gave him a hug and told him I loved him. It was quite possibly the most heartfelt "I love you" I have ever given him. And then I walked out the door. I didn't want him to see me starting to cry. I will miss him but I couldn't be more proud of him.

An emotional Christmas indeed.

Long time no write

2007-12-15T18:12:00.000-05:00

Or at least it feels that way. I have been putting off writing the Christmas letter but I decided that until it was written, I wasn't allowed to blog. I'm not sure why I do that to myself but it isn't the first time. Over the summer I decided I wasn't allowed to read any of my books until I took my licensure exam. I was THRILLED when it was over and I swallowed up a few books all at one time as soon as I had the chance.

The Christmas letter is written and Chris added all of the fun details to it such as a heading, watermark, and pictures. This is why you will see a picture of the Indianapolis Colts Superbowl ring in the letter. I tried to explain that a Christmas letter is to show recipients pictures of us, not of things they can see anywhere. He vehemently disagreed and you will see upon receiving the Christmas letter that he won. I still think it looks silly but oh well.

We are currently getting dumped with 8 inches of snow so we have a fire going in the fireplace, music playing, candles lit, and we finished making Christmas cookies. Chris is outside grilling us steak. Yup, you read right. He is OUTSIDE GRILLING!! Gotta love a dedicated grill master. :)

He just waved the finished steak under my nose. It smells delicious!! Gotta run. There is food to be eaten!!

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T07:24:00.000-05:00

It is early Thanksgiving morning and I have much to be thankful for. Unlike many friends, I have a loving husband and a good marriage. I have parents and siblings who care about one another and support each other. Chris and I are able to afford a cozy house filled with candles and music and regularly have food on the table. This is much more than many.

I spent months in a career crisis with no direction. I was unhappy with my current job but couldn't seem to land a job anywhere else. I was questioning my desire to practice social work. I finally landed a few job interviews and as the saying goes, "When it rains, it pours."

I was offered a position at a brand new beautiful hospital as the oncology social worker. I already work on call for the hospital one to two weekends a month. Then I was offered a job with the VA hospital where Chris works. Finally, I received a call from a well known attachment therapist who asked if I would join his private practice and eventually take over his practice when he retired in a few years. After talking with Chris, my parents, and God, I decided to accept the position at the VA. I start on Monday.

On a day when we are supposed to spend time contemplating all we have been blessed with and give thanks to God, He has made it especially easy this year.

Please pray for my friend

2007-11-14T18:29:00.000-05:00

Chris and I found out that a close friend of ours was diagnosed with breast cancer today. She is just a few years older than me and has two young children. Chris works with her husband which is how we came to become friends with them. Without trying to put words to how this must feel for our friends, I would imagine that it is difficult for anyone else who hears the news and is close with this couple. For me, difficult doesn't come close to describing it.

Chris told me the news as work was ending and since then I haven't been able to stop crying and am grossly irritable. This dark cloud of sadness has encompassed my heart. Thankfully Chris had to work late so I can sit at home and process why this news is so devestating to me. For anyone who hears this news about a friend, your own mortality is considered. We all take some time to think about what it would look like if it happened to us. Regardless of my usual "I'm too sensitive" thoughts, I couldn't wrap my head around why this was having such a significant impact until a few minutes ago.

This news has been given to me before. I have been told I have cancer. I have been told it doesn't look good and that I will have to say goodbye to my friends. I have laid on the floor in despair listening on the other end of the phone while my parents listened to the doctor talk to them about how bad things looked for me. I have felt the feelings my friend is feeling. Although in social work we are always taught to never say "I understand," I DO understand what it is like to survive the day you are told you have cancer. It is a scary and lonely, and minutes pass that feel pregnant with hopelessness and despair.

A week later the doctors realized they were wrong and I was given my life back. That is where my understanding ends. That is where my love and passion for my friend will continue. Please pray for her.

Sapporo Ichiban

2007-11-11T20:32:00.000-05:00

Chris and I were at the grocery store this evening...and for the third time today I might add. Granted the second of three visits wasn't our fault. On the first visit, the pharmacy failed to actually put my medicine in the bag I didn't think to check prior to arriving home. When I called, they informed me that a second visit would be necessary. The third visit was when Chris realized we didn't have an ingredient for the satee burgers he was making tonight.

As we were looking for the hard to find ingredient, I came across a childhood memory. When I was a kid, my mom would visit the local Asian Mart and buy a large box of Sapporo Ichiban. It was a household staple and a favorite of everyone in the family. Sapporo Ichiban is a good tasting version of Ramen noodles. It is a bit pricier costing $.59 a package compared to $.13. $.46 never tasted so good!

When I saw it, I KNEW we had to buy it. Chris said he had never experienced Sapporo Ichiban so I couldn't wait for him to try it. And of course, in true "I have the best husband ever" fashion, Chris loved it.

Childhood memories are the best!

Halloween

2007-10-31T16:49:00.000-04:00

Chris and I went to French Lick, Indiana for a Halloween weekend. We almost won for best costume. When we didn't win, we put put up for worst costume. We didn't manage to win that one either. Our costumes were simple. We made a white stick (stick with red on the bottom for blind people) and then used tape to write the date (10/27/07) across our chests. We went as blind dates. :)

Yesterday we had a Halloween hash. I changed my outfit since it wasn't as funny with only one person. Chris made me a pig nose and I made pig ears. I wrapped a blanket around myself and went as pig in a blanket. It was noted by friends that I think too hard for my costumes.

Tonight the kids come and my favorite part of the day begins...one for them, one for me, one for them, one for me.

And then I go to the gym. :)

Happy Halloween!!!

Weather excitement

2007-10-18T22:21:00.001-04:00

Chris is gone and the weather is going a little crazy. We had bad storms last night which pulled siding off of our house. I was sitting on the couch this morning studying for the licensure exam I have tomorrow and heard a scratching noise on the house. I went outside and saw a piece of siding dangling. I pulled it off and noticed there was a second piece looking loose. I went the the gym in the afternoon and when I came home, I saw the second piece had fallen and there was a third looking loose. I called Chris and gave him to the news about the house and we tried to determine if this was something we needed to jump on today or tomorrow. He knows I hate dealing with this kind of thing so offered to make the necessary phone calls.

I just got home from my final marathon study session and flipped on the tv to see we are under a tornado watch. The wind is blowing and the cat is freaking out. I'm hoping the house manages to stay mostly together. I guess I won't know until I wake up tomorrow...

***A tornado warning was just issues for three parts of Indiana. Whew, this could be a long night before a long test tomorrow. Good thing I'm a sound sleeper.

Lonely thoughts

2007-10-14T19:43:00.000-04:00

God knew I wasn't mean to live alone. God gave me roommates in college. He gave me apartment-mates after college. Then God gave me a husband. Never have I had to live alone. Well, Chris left this afternoon for Detroit. I promptly left with a girlfriend to watch the Bears game at a sports bar. I figured it was a way to take my mind off of Chris leaving. The Bears lost in the final seconds of the game with the Vikings kicking a field goal. Not a good start to the evening.

I got home and called my sister. Voicemail.

I called an old friend from Wheaton who had left a message two days ago. He and his fiance broke up.

I lit candles in every room, turned on music, and started cleaning. The dishwasher is empty. The dust is gone. The washing machine is running.

Here I sit...next to the cat who won't sit with me because he prefers Chris' lap to my lap. I think he misses Chris too.

Since I got home from the Bears game it has gotten dark. The music on my iPod all seems melancholy. The only light in the house is the glow of the candles and the computer screen.

I think I need a hobbie...

In the meantime, here are a few more pictures of our trip to Denver.

Job interviews

2007-10-07T20:06:00.000-04:00

My life for the last two weeks has consisted of job interviews and therefore stress and anxiety. It can be challenging for someone who hasn't interviewed in a while to completely understand the emotional rollercoaster of interviewing. Gone are the days of one on one interviews where you have an opportunity to make a connection with the interviewer. Here are the days of being picked apart by 5-10 strangers at one time. Imagine walking into a room where every ounce of you is analyzed...what you wear, how you wear it, how your hair is styled, how much make up you are wearing, how nervous you seem, how much you smile, how little you smile, how many questions you ask, how few questions you ask, etc... And that doesn't even begin to address HOW you answer the interview questions. I have three of four interviews done, two of those were for the same position. One of the interviews was really rough and had triple and quadruple stacked questions. For example:

Tell about a time you had a problem with a team member. What happened? How did you handle it? How would we know when you are angry? How do you handle being angry?

Tell about a time you went above and beyond for a client. What did you do, what was the outcome, and why did you choose to do so with this specific client?

AND THAT IS CONSIDERED TWO QUESTIONS!!

Obviously with job interviews there are two possible outcomes. One is a job change which is great but even good stress is still stress. The other is rejection. This is the piece that is difficult. As much as you can convince yourself that it isn't true, getting turned down for a job is both personal and professional rejection. Someone (or many someones) don't want you. Either you aren't good enough or someone is better than you. Bottom life: You aren't it. You aren't wanted.

It is a tough position to be in and I can't wait for the interviews to be over. I am hopeful my interviews will result in a job change. A much as I love the kids I am currently working with, the politics, paperwork, insurance, pressure of productivity, and the parents who refuse to be a part of their child's life is burning me out.

I will keep you posted on either my rejection or new good stress.

Oh, and since I hate blogs with tons of words and no pictures, here is a picture of our summer trip to Denver.

Path of Sprinkles

2007-09-25T19:46:00.000-04:00

My cousin, Liz Ann, started blogging not too long ago. It took me a while to check it out and when I finally did, I loved it. I just pulled her blog up again and read the entire thing from start to finish. (Good thing she hasn't been writing for too long.)

Anyway, her words are inspiring and her love of God is moving. I especially enjoyed the blog about how we are like cups in how we break. What kind of cup are you? Tea cup, Styrofoam cup, mug, etc...

Although I don't have the talent of expressing myself in the way she does, I can see so many similarities in our emotions. She is absolutely precious.

Check out her blog. It is worth the time...

pathofsprinkles.blogspot.com

Best husband ever...again.

2007-09-23T09:24:00.000-04:00

All last year I wanted a Bears jersey but never really looked into it because they were so expensive. This year I decided I HAD to have one. I spent a few weekends looking on the internet for something that might be affordable. I found one last week but Chris said he thought he could find something less expensive. Instead of Chris taking the computer to find this so called less expensive jersey, he just sat on the couch and did nothing. I was frustrated but put the computer aside and decided I would ask another time and perhaps include some begging.

This morning I got ready for church and when I walked into the kitchen where Chris was making breakfast, he asked why I wasn't wearing my Bears shirt. I reminded him that the shirt is so huge it looks like a nightshirt so it isn't fit to wear. He threw me over his shoulder, carried me into the bedroom, and asked me to pull out the over sized shirt. In the drawer was my new Bears jersey he bought for me a few weeks ago and was hiding until this morning. He even went so far as to get a friend involved to make sure that when the jersey arrived in the mail, I wouldn't find it.

Just another example of how my husband is the best husband ever.

The joys of cats

2007-09-05T17:07:00.000-04:00

I hadn't mentioned it previously because at the time, it was a bit too difficult. If you have followed this blog for any length of time you know that Moses, our black kitty, had many behavioral problems. We tried everything and when nothing worked, we put him down. It was a horrible experience and I never want to do it again. Needless to say it was a bit of a shock when we got home from the vet's office after doing the deed and found poop on the carpet from Moses' brother Mijo (pronounced Me-ho.) We freaked out but figured it was a fluke...I mean, certainly we didn't put down the wrong cat did we?

(pregnant pause for effect)

Of course we didn't!!! Are you nuts?? We knew it was Moses who was meowing all night long and peeing on the carpet. Sadly I think he taught Mijo a few tricks before the final trip to the vet.

Mijo has been what I call the "occasional pooper." He poops on the floor when the box isn't to his liking and I admit we have gotten a bit lax about cleaning it. With Moses, if it wasn't cleaned out by 4PM on the dot he would poop on the floor...and sometimes he pooped on the floor just because it was fun. We still clean it but probably only every other day since we are down to one cat.

Chris, being the wonderful husband that he is, deep cleaned it this weekend because our occasional pooper was up to his old tricks. A deep clean means Chris dumps the litter out, sprays the two litter boxes the spoiled cat has with a hose, uses a special cleaner for cats to eliminate potential odors that weren't eliminated by the hose of death, dries the boxes in the sun, and fills them with clean litter. The boxes have been cleaned daily since then.

Note that it is only Wednesday.

I got home from work today and I am not kidding, Mijo pooped on the kitchen counter. I took a picture but decided not to attach it in case cat poop grosses anyone out. If anyone is interested, let me know and I will e-mail it to you. How do I handle this? What on God's green earth posses a cat to poop on the kitchen counter...a place he already knows he isn't allowed?

I have scrubbed the counter down with bleach and lit a strong smelling candle. It still smells like poop.

Business Time

2007-08-21T20:23:00.000-04:00

This is a link to youtube showing Flight on the Conchords, a band from I don't remember where. New Zealand perhaps? Anyway, it is really funny and worth checking out.

Mijo has checked it out already and for him, it is Business Time.

Couch

2007-08-19T18:09:00.000-04:00

For the last few months Chris has been complaining about our couch. He seems to think it sags in the middle and swears it would be better if we had gotten a shorter couch. We even looked at couches at Costco today. Of course it isn't in the budget and won't be for a looong time. Chris hates the couch so much he said he would torch it and pee on it if given the opportunity. That is severe dislike for an object if you ask me...which you didn't...but it is my blog so I can write what I want.

Anyway, we overturned the cushions on the couch looking for something earlier today. It was then that we noticed a broken board. More accurately, make that a board snapped in two. Chris and I then started to recall a particularly delightful evening where we took the advice of Uncle Rob, the wonderful man who married us. As Chris and I were driving off to our hotel the night of our wedding, Uncle Rob told us that the best cure for a bad headache is... well... ...ya know... um... ...sex!!

No wonder the couch has been sinking for the last few months. Oops. But what a memorable night that was. Of course Chris and I kept asking each other why we didn't look at the couch the night we broke it. I reminded him we were a bit preoccupied.

My parents broke a bed. We broke our couch. We are official!

The results are in!

2007-08-02T20:51:00.000-04:00

The doc called this morning and gave me the thumbs up. Praise God!!

Am I invisible?

2007-08-01T18:11:00.000-04:00

Doctors have proven to be a challenge lately. I'm sure everyone has their story about a lousy doctor they have had. I seem to have several stories and the stories haven't stopped coming.

I had a less than fun procedure two weeks ago and the doctor and nurse were well aware that I was anxious about the results. After specifically asking, I was told the results would be back in a week. Since the procedure was done in the afternoon, I decided to wait a week and two days before calling about my results. The triage nurse was very nice and explained that the doctor was out in surgery that morning but would return to the office in the afternoon to see patients. She said my lab results were in but she couldn't tell me what they were because the doc hadn't reviewed them yet but that "she would be sure and attach a note stating I had called and was concerned about the results." Then I waited. I waited until 4:27 because the office closes at 4:30. I spoke with the same nurse who said the doctor had been very busy the entire afternoon and hadn't had time to review my results but that she would put another note on my chart stating I had called back. That was last Friday.

I didn't call on Monday because I wanted to give the doctor a fair shot. She didn't call.

I finally called Tuesday afternoon and spoke to the same nurse who informed me the doctor had been busy all Monday and was out of the office all day on Tuesday. She all but promised me I would get a call on Wednesday with my results because the doc would be in the office all day. She also said she would leave a third note stating I had called and would put my chart and results on the top of the doctor's desk.

I guess the results got lost. Or the doctor got busy. Or the doctor is too busy for me. Or the doctor doesn't seem to think this matters to me. Or the doctor thinks the results are so bad she doesn't want to call. Or I am actually invisible and don't really exist and this entire thing is a figment of my imagination. There are a variety of reasons no one called me today. The longer it takes to receive the call, the more my imagination has time to create a variety of horrible things.

I guess I will call again tomorrow. Hopefully the doctor didn't decide to take a vacation day tomorrow or call in sick due to a painful hangnail.

It has been a bad day. :(

Birthday shoes

2007-07-29T17:59:00.000-04:00

I love shoes. I loves shoes a lot. There is a feeling of fullness and satisfaction that comes from purchasing a great pair of shoes. I have that feeling right now times three. I went to my favorite shoe store, DWS, and used the birthday money my mom and sister gave me to find three amazing steals. I spent the entire time in the clearance section of the store and couldn't believe my luck. (Clearance is such hit or miss.) I found a pair of cute black dress flats since Chris isn't crazy about heels. I found a pair of Teva's to replace the ones that Chris had to glue back together before our rafting trip and had to be rescued from the river after they fell off of my feet. And I bought a pair of Born sandals which are usually so expensive I wouldn't dream of owning a pair but the sale was irresistible. They are all super cute!!

Happy birthday to me and thank you to Mama and Jill!

It's my birthday today

2007-07-19T18:10:00.000-04:00

And the question of the day is: Are we supposed to say, "It's my birthday today." Or do we say nothing? As kids it was easy. We simply announced to everyone we saw that it was our birthday and proudly shared our new and oh so important age. As a kid it felt great to hear people tell me happy birthday. So why does it seem so weird to say it to people now that I am an adult? It still feels good when people tell me happy birthday but it seems awkward to be the person informing them of my birthday. It's almost like I am asking them to say or do something nice for me.

I went to the gym this afternoon and decided to announce that it was my birthday with the group of friends I attend a weight training class with. They were excited and told me happy birthday but they were also disappointed because I hadn't told them earlier and given them time to plan something.

So again, what is birthday etiquette? To tell or not to tell. That is the question.

Self care

2007-07-13T08:01:00.000-04:00

I am sitting at the kitchen table thinking about how I really need to be studying for a license exam that is coming up. I have a few minutes before I leave for my 8:30 doctor's appointment and think I will use the time wisely by pulling out my review material. I have taken a bunch of sample tests but haven't spent much time actually studying which I am guessing might help me on both the sample test and the real exam.

Sadly, the computer seems to be crying louder for my attention than my exam material so here I sit, still not studying but writing which I find much more enjoyable. Isn't that self care? Isn't that what my boss is always talking about? "Don't forget self care Torrey. I don't want you burned out." Then again, I also consider checking people.com once or twice a day to be self care. Self care is very important.

Perhaps when I am done with my self care I will start to study...

Self care might take a long time.

A good reminder

2007-06-29T16:59:00.000-04:00

I went for a run after work today and as I was finishing up, I decided to walk to one of my new favorite spots about a half mile away from the house. I changed my iPod from my "workout" mix to my "favorite" mix which is basically a hodge podge of random songs. My ears perked up when "I'll be there" by Steven Curtis Chapman came on. It was the song Joey and Missy, two dear friends of mine from college, sang at my wedding. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. For the last few days I have struggled between being irritable and being incredibly sad. Of course there is no reason other than just because.

I turned around to walk back to a beautiful stream that runs across the walking path and sat down next to it. I listened to the song a second time and began to cry. I thought about how much I love and appreciate my husband and started to pray and give thanks for the gift of him. When the tears stopped and the song was over I felt refreshed. I walked back to the house and thought about what is important and what to never take for granted.

For me, it was a good reminder.

Prodigal Son Returns Part III

2007-06-27T21:46:00.000-04:00

I reserve the right to retract and/or modify my previous statement of "it works like a charm." Of course I am referring to the anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds we put Moses on.

I choose to modify.

It worked like a charm for the first two weeks. Moses has now returned to pooping on the floor next to the litter box and throwing up on the carpet. Thankfully the meowing has still been kept at bay. If we hear one little peep (or meow) out of him around 4 in the morning, he is off to Tails A Waggin.

To be continued...

Oh, and pictures from our Denver trip are coming soon.

Prodigal Son Returns Part II

2007-06-04T21:16:00.001-04:00

We took Moses to the vet and poured our hearts out. We talked about everything...the poop, the throw up, the terrible meow, and the fact that although we couldn't quite manage to give Moses away, we weren't able to live like this anymore.

The vet had an easy fix. He said it would either work like a charm in two weeks or it wouldn't do anything and we might have to cope with giving away Moses.

The answer: (May I first say that I don't share this information lightly. I mean come on!! We are both social workers for crying out loud! Why? Why us? It is like having two teachers with a learning disabled child...or two lawyers with a child in jail. Instead, we are two social workers with...)

...a cat on anti-depressant medication.

And I must say, it works like a charm. :)

Prodigal Son Returns

2007-05-28T14:31:00.000-04:00

As you know from previous posts, Chris and I have mixed feelings about our cats. Unfortunately most of the negative feelings are directed towards Moses and not Mijo. Moses is the one who meows like he is dying each and every morning around 4:30 because he wants to be the the bedroom with us. Since I am allergic to cats, my allergist gave us strict orders to keep the cats out of the bedroom...no exceptions. Moses is also the one who will poop on the floor if he doesn't get his way. Oh, and the throwing up on the carpet a few weeks ago? All Moses. Chris has searched the internet to find a solution. We have grilled the vet with questions only to be told Moses is healthy and everything he is doing is behavioral...figures since Chris and I are both social workers. Anyway, our last resort before shipping Moses off to the humane society was to see if he could become an outdoor cat. That way he could do his pooping and throwing up outside and it would increase his chances of remaining in the family.

Moses did well for over a week. He would go outside mostly when Chris and I were outside. He always stuck close to the house and never ventured off. Then one day he disappeared. He was no where to be found and it created a mix of feelings. There was no poop on the carpet. There was no time spent scrubbing the carpet from throw up. And each morning upon opening the bedroom door, there quietly sat Mijo. Other than the concern for Moses' well being and hoping he hadn't been eaten by a dog, Chris and I were a content one cat family.

That was then.

Chris and I returned late last night from a vacation and as we were driving into our housing complex, I made a joke wondering if Moses would be waiting for us. No joke. There he was, sitting on our front porch meowing his loud meow. Who knows where he was for the past 2 1/2 weeks. We were tired so we let him in, fed him, and began our struggle of what to do. Mijo doesn't seem thrilled to have him back and Chris and I were up in the air about it until the meow of death began around 4:30 this morning. We finally caught up with our neighbor who discovered Moses two night ago. She showed up the bird Moses brought home and had been feasting on. After seeing the bird and giving it more thought, Moses is now back outside where he will remain until we determine his fate...

If only Moses weren't so cuddly. Anyone know of someone who wants a cat?

Life's little frustrations

2007-05-15T19:27:00.000-04:00

I am sitting on the couch slightly less frustrated than I was about an hour ago. You see, an hour ago I returned home from having my car towed only to see that my soon to be dead cats threw up on the carpet for the second time in two days. I'm not talking just a little bit of throw up either. I'm talking they walked around the room and thought it would be fun to see mom clean up the entire carpet insead of just a little part of it. One day being on my hands and knees scrubbing was bad enough. Two days was over the top.

Oh, and did you gloss over the part of my car needing to be towed? Yeah, that is how my work day ended. I was on my way to a meeting and the car started jolting. I was on the phone with Chris at the time and he could hear the jolting over the phone. I pulled over and thank the GOOD LORD that he was still at the office. He picked me up, called the Saturn dealership, and we were told the car wasn't safe to drive. We aren't sure what is wrong with it...although Chris thinks it is the transmission...and I am due to drive to Chicago Friday for a convention. Chris is on the phone as we speak trying to determine if our insurance will pay for the tow and if they will cover a rental car.

One more thing. Our dishwashed died two weeks ago. We just got a new one late last week. Gotta love the joys of life. :)

Brownie bites

2007-05-06T21:05:00.000-04:00

Christopher and I attended a Cinco de Mayo party Saturday evening and we were told to bring a side dish. Since both of us are sugar addicts, I made yummy peanut butter brownies. Chris had to go to work that day so he left at 5:30 a.m. and didn't get home until 5:15 p.m. After he got back home, he napped while I attended another party thrown by my fitness instructor. Since I knew I wouldn't have time to make the brownies in between parties, I made them before the first party and let them sit while I was gone. However, fully cognizant of our cats predilection for baked goods, I covered the brownie pan with a dish cloth. I was proud upon arriving home from the first party to discover they didn't eat the brownies. Instead, Christopher informed me that they stepped on the brownies.

At least it gave us an excuse to cut out the stepped on pieces and eat them before leaving... :)

Spring is here...again

2007-04-24T18:16:00.000-04:00

The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and it is warm outside. I'm hoping we won't be fooled again since we have already had one spell of warm weather followed by freezing temperatures and snow. I'm thinking this is the real deal though...and since it is almost May, isn't it time? Although we can reason out why the temps have been changing so severely, our trees and flowers are really confused. We have three trees that are beautiful in the spring. Two bloom purple and one blooms white. All we got was a smattering of color before it froze and the flowers and leaves died. Now it looks sad and pathetic. :(

Chris and I are still enjoying the weather though. We had six yards of mulch delivered Friday and we managed to get it all spread and cleaned by before the night was over. We even had enough left over to mulch Kim and Wayne, our wonderful neighbor's, back deck.

We have started working out outside and even managing to hit the running trails on the weekends...a sure sign it is getting warm.

Soon, the hashing as Rear Admiral and Rear-End-Id will begin again.

Ah, spring...

Easter in Chicago

2007-04-08T19:00:00.000-04:00

There is something special about spending Easter Sunday with my family in Chicago. For many, Easter isn't a big deal. It consists of the Easter bunny, chocolate, and hunting for eggs. For us, it is about celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. In my opinion, no one celebrates like College Church in Wheaton. The banners are beautiful. The sermon is meaningful. The children are adorable. And the singing, oh the singing. Every Easter our church breaks out the entire orchestra and everyone sings the Hallelujah Chorus. Even though I can't hit the majority of the notes, I make my joyful noise to the Lord and I feel so happy that I'm convinced I have beams of light shooting out from my fingers. And yes, we still have the Easter baskets and chocolate, and colored eggs. What a wonderful holiday!

Blogging

2007-03-21T21:58:00.000-04:00

I have been complaining to Chris for about two weeks that I need to blog but I wasn't having any grand ideas. Once I did have a grand idea, I always forgot it or failed to make the time to write. Tonight I had a few minutes and decided to pull up my blog to write a new entry regardless of my lack of ideas. I then saw my previous entry...the entry about our new tv. Now I know why I haven't blogged for almost a month. Sad...very sad.

The upgrade

2007-03-04T19:48:00.001-05:00

Chris and I have received teasing from multiple friends for having exactly four channels on our television and that is when our rabbit ears are turned just right. The last straw came when we were watching one of our favorite shows and our really really sad tv kept cutting in and out. Chris did some research and we are the proud new owners of a 37 inch LCD tv and tv stand. It is incredible!! The tv isn't cutting in and out anymore and the fuzz we had on our old small tv is now even bigger on our new big tv...we are still waiting to get cable. We did see the excitement of our new tv when we put in a dvd and watched a movie. Whatever are we going to do with 800 channels?

...more snow

2007-02-17T19:18:00.000-05:00

here we are, we got about 4 more inches of snow on top of the foot we already have. but thank goodness, we have....the snowflake hunter?!?!

V-Day

2007-02-15T08:36:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day is easy to hate when you are single. In fact, it is almost COOL to hate it when you are single and a woman. By hating it we pretend the lack of gifts, attention, and love doesn't really bother us when in fact, it really really bothers us. I used to be one of those woman...and then I met Christopher.

I now love Valentine's Day. It has nothing to do with the flowers, jewelry, or chocolate and everything to do with the date on the calendar. Feb 14, 2004 was the day I knew I had met the man I was going to marry. I arrived at Christopher's apartment and there was a red and pink construction paper heart on the front door. In blue crayon was written that after walking inside, I would discover all the things Chris loves about me. I opened the door and found that the room was full of candles. Under each of the 25 candles was a smaller heart. On each heart, written in the same blue crayon, was something Chris loves about me. It was the most romantic gesture anyone has ever done for me.

I told Chris last night over dinner that three years ago when I was reading those hearts, I knew I was in love with him before I reached the final heart. I also knew I wanted to marry him.

I'm not sure why Chris and I have been blessed with such a wonderful marriage but I thank God every day for it.

I love you Christopher.

Indianapolis Blizzard of '07

2007-02-13T17:08:00.000-05:00

We were supposed to get 3-7 inches. We figured they overestimated. They always over estimate. We were wrong. We are currently at a foot of snow and are supposed to get another 4-5 inches before the night is over. The wind is also supposed to pick up to around 40 mph so the drifts should be impressive.

Indy certainly isn't Oswego, NY but Indy also rarely has snow. That means that when it does snow, it is a HUGE problem for the city. Chris and I braved the roads this morning and I was promptly scolded from my boss after arrival since my boss knew that the snow was much more significant in the area I live. I worked for an hour before my boss told me to go home. I got all the way home before getting my car stuck directedly in front of my garage. My car was blocking the street so I ran around to neighbors to locate a shovel.

For those who are interested, Target doesn't carry shovels and plastic shovels from Meijer break easily.

I was able to dig my car out of the snow and create a path up the driveway into the garage. Thanks to my dad's good teaching, I thought to lay down kitty litter in front and in back of my tires for a bit of tread. I managed to make it into the garage on my second attempt.

Chris stayed at work until noonish before he called it a day due to cancelled meetings and an inability to make visits to his clients. We have spent the day making cookies and watching movies. Here is what our cats have been doing while we have been home...

P.S. Pickett, hope you are enjoying warm Kenya while we are freezing our tails off in America!

Superbowl XLI continued...

2007-02-06T18:49:00.000-05:00

350 to 3. Not good odds. Even worse odds when you are part of that three. That was me the day of the Superbowl.

Chris and I decided to go to Bufflo Wild Wings to watch the game. He likes the big screens and I was convinced it was one place that there would be at least a handful of Bears fans. We were worried about being able to find a seat so after going to the early service at church, we scarfed down some food and headed to the restaurant. We arrived around 12:15 with a deck of cards and in good spirits. We knew it was going to be a long afternoon since the game didn't start until 6:30. We arrived and the place was already half full. We made friends with those sitting around us and I was appropriately abused by all of the Colts fans. The gentleman next to us informed us that he was actually a Bears fan. It was difficult to tell with the screaming blue jersey he was wearing. He said he was wearing Bears boxers. I opted not to see them.

The restaurant was a sea of royal blue and there I sat with my Bears hoodie and hat. I was told by many that I was brave. I partially agreed. Thankfully many found me acceptable since I was actually a Chicago native. That is how I was dubbed in church when I was pointed out in the middle of the service. Chris was kind enough to tell after the service that he knew I had been embarrassed due to the three shades of red my face turned. And I thought it was due to the heat that was radiating off of my body when the entire congragation turned around and stared at me. But I digress...

The beginning of the game began with me screaming and jumping up and down after Deven Hester scored a touchdown. I figured that since I was the only one (the other two Bears fans were no where to be found) I needed to be loud and proud and make up for the small number that I was.

Note: I did have a girl come up to me wearing a Bears shirt and she gave me a high five. My excitement lasted about 10 seconds when she informed me she really didn't care who won and cheered for whomever had the ball. Dumb girl!

In terms of the rest of the game, I don't want to talk about it.

If any other team in the NFL had to win besides the Bears, I am glad it was the Indianapolis Colts. It has been fun seeing the city celebrate their win. It is also nice to see my husband so happy. And yes, I took down my Bears flag and Chris has three days to celebrate with only his flag flying from the house.

It isn't easy being a Chicago Bears fan in the heart of Indianapolis but it has been a great football season.

Kinda creepy

2007-02-02T16:45:00.000-05:00

Not too long ago I was trying to figure out what key words I could use in Google to get my blog to pop up. In case you are interested...none. Or at least I still can't figure it out. Anyway, while on my search, I discovered another blog. What is a bit odd is how much we have in common. First, we share the same name which is a bit unusual. Not only is it the same name but it is spelled the same way. Second, we are both counselors. She is an admissions counselor and I am a mental health counselor. Granted it isn't exactly the same thing but pretty darn close. We are both 28 years old and I discovered her grandparents live in the Chicagoland area. Crazy!!! I wonder if she is a Bears fan too? Last...and I swear I am not stalking her but I simply looked at recent posts on her blog, we have the exact same toothbrush. Coincidence? See for yourself. Her blog is torreysblog.blogspot.com.

She is a much more dedicated blogger than I. Maybe she will inspire me to write more than twice a month... :)

Superbowl XLI

2007-01-24T21:23:00.000-05:00

We are officially the house divided.

Of course the Bears are going to win but I won't rub it in...much.

Vegas

2007-01-20T19:36:00.000-05:00

I spent the first week of January in Las Vegas working at the Consumer Electronics Show. Being that I never attended camp as a kid or worked as a camp counselor, living with four other women and spending a large quanity of time with about 25 other women was quite the experience. The weekend was full of drama, backstabbing, gossip, and the occasional racial slurs. If I hear, "Because I'm from Hollywood" again, I think I might hit someone.

In the limo on the way to the convention the first day, a few of us were talking about how old we are. I asked the girl sitting next to me who was obviously younger than yours truly, how old she was. She was the first to inform me that, "I'm from Hollywood and we don't say how old we are." I told her to get over it.

Another girl yelled at and disrespected our agent's assistant. When she was approached by our agent, she denied doing it even though there were multiple witnesses. The next day she decided to quit, refused to leave the condo we were all staying in, and wrote a multiple page letter saying how she was "verbally terrized" by the agent's assistant.

It was quite the weekend.

Thankfully there were some good points to the week. I managed to make a bit of coin and also made a few new friends along the way. Hannah, a good girlfriend of mine that I have mentioned in previous posts, and I shared a room and a bathroom. She helped me keep my sanity.

I am not much of a gambler but I did throw away $2. I spread the $2 over the course of two days and came away with nothing. In this picture is Breana and Janay, both of whom I got to know over the course of the trip. This evening started off as a walk to get a bit of exercise and ended in the Flamingo where I spent one of the $2.

The only other night I went out was quite an adventure. A group of us be-friended a very kind dancer who was hired to work the same booth at the convention we were working. He seemed to know everyone in the city and was considered a local. He invited us to Studio 54 in Vegas and promised us free admission as well as VIP access. I laughed at the initial invitation since dance clubs are not my scene. I am more of a homebody and like to go to bed early. I have to admit it was quite a rush to go to the front of the line to get into Studio 54. We were given dirty looks from the 40 people in line, especially when we didn't have to cough up any money. We were given more dirty looks when we walked through the club and made it to the VIP section. This is a picture from the evening. I had a great time and even made it to bed by 1:00am.

The best part is that the check I earned should be arriving soon and will help to pay for the roof we are having put on next week.

Update on potty training

2007-01-03T21:17:00.000-05:00

When Chris and I moved out of our townhouse, we discovered the cats had been peeing on the carpet. $500 and an irritated apartment complex later, we moved into our house. I swore that if our cats didn't get it together in the peeing department, they were on their way out. We laid our a tarp under their litter boxes and hoped for the best. Mistake. Big mistake.

The first step in potty training is to move the litter box (now one instead of two) to the bathroom. If we want them to actually use the toilet, we need to get them to start going the bathroom in the bathroom. In moving the litter box to the bathroom, we pulled up the tarp in the office which where their little box used to sit. Gross. Disgusting. Horrendous. Alright, it wasn't quite that bad. Nothing beats the smell that seeped from the carpet when we pulled up the tarp at the townhouse. But nevertheless, this is MY house. We are no longer renting and I really really really care about what happens to the carpet. And now, thanks to Moses and Mijo, the office has a twinge of cat pee odor.

I can't decide if I should make mittens out of them or if I really need a new scarf...

Decision, decisions.

The time has come...

2006-12-30T21:52:00.000-05:00

After a year of pooping on the floor, peeing on the carpet, and loads of kitty litter, Chris and I are ready. Commence kitty potty training.

I'll keep you posted...

A different sort of Christmas

2006-12-25T17:32:00.000-05:00

For the first time in 25 years I was not in Chicago for the holidays. Chris and I decided to take turns spending Christmas with our families and this year was his turn where the plan was to go to his sister's house who lives in Indianapolis. His other sister who lives in OH was already going to be there with her husband and daughter. We spent Christmas Eve hanging out, playing darts, and eating. Both of his sisters are incredible cooks and they made a fajita bar. It was delicious.

Chris and I left to get ready for church since the entire family was going to meet up and attend the Christmas Eve service at our church. We arrived at the church 20 minutes early so we could find good seats for everyone. We were really surprised to find so many cars already there. We were even more surprised to discover church had started 45 minutes ago. This isn't the first time this has happened to us. We have a history of receiving bad or delayed information regarding our church services and since we frequently spend our weekends in Chicago, we miss announcements that are made about service times. Chris and I sat in for the final ten minutes of the service. We sang one song but I was so disappointed I couldn't even sing.

We decided to go to my old church and attend their Christmas Eve service. I was determined to hear one good sermon and since more than one Christmas carol. The problem was that we had an hour to kill. We decided to go to Starbucks only to discover it was closed. We opted for TGI Fridays to get a cup of coffee with Bailey's Irish Cream. We sat down and the place smelled of stale ciggarrette smoke and old greasy food. It was absoutely disgusting. We were sitting there for almost ten minutes before anyone acknowledged our presence. The drinks were good but the service was terrible. Thankfully this was the low of the evening.

The church service was good and when it was over we went home, popped pop corn, and watched the black and white version of Miracle on 34th Street. The evening was rescued!

Then came Christmas morning.

I woke up and started feeling queasy about thirty minutes later. I spent the rest of the morning on the couch before telling Chris I needed to go home. Chris drove me home and was wonderful spending a few hours with me before I encouraged him to go back to his sister's for dinner. The rest of Christmas has been spent making the difficult decision of which end to put on the potty. It has been a rough happy holiday for me. I'm hoping it is a 24 hour bug and I will be feeling like new tomorrow morning.

Merry Christmas!

Happy birthday and 1 year anniverary

2006-12-16T15:23:00.000-05:00

December 3rd was Chris' birthday and our one year anniversary. I can't believe it has been one year!!! Too late to change the title to this blog. It will have to stay. Maybe I should have made it Years of the MC. Anyhoo, this is a brief account of our weekend together:

To celebrate Chris' birthday and our first year anniversary, we joined friends in Chicago for a fun filled weekend. Chris and I drove up Friday after work and went to Second City which is an improv club in Old Town. It is famous for being the club where many Saturday Night Live comedians got their start. I was there many years ago with my sister and brother in law and it was just as funny as I remembered it. Chris laughed uncontrollably which made it all the funnier. We are still mimicking some of the better lines given during the night.

The next morning we laughed when we realized the one of the sets of friends we were meeting up with was directly across the hall from us in the hotel. The four of us hit the magnificant mile for shopping, people watching, and enjoying the Christmas lights. I was able to show off the Marshall Field/Macy's Christmas windows to Chris who has never been downtown during the holidays.

As the sun was going down, I insisted we go to the Signature Lounge on the 96th floor of the John Hancock building. Joe, one of the friends we were with, found $40 on the ground in Crate and Barrel so we treated ourselves to a cocktail.

After returning to the hotel from our shopping excursion, we linked up with another couple from Indianapolis who drove up for the occasion along with a third couple who were friends with Jeff and Joe and live in Chicago. We walked to a friend of mine's apartment to begin the evening. This is a picture of the guys as we headed out of the hotel. It was freezing cold and we all laughed when we realized they were all wearing their manly earmuffs.

Here is Chris cheesing it to the camera with Joe who decided to try on Hannah's fluffy hat.

Gary, my friend and hairstylist whose apartment we went to, has a friend who is well connected in the city. With two hours notice, she was able to get the ten of us a reservation to an incredible Italian restaurant. The food was amazing, the service was excellent, and bottles of wine were abundant. Gary, who is from Italy and has only lived in the states for a few years, ordered the appetizers and the wine. We let him run the show. I think when all was done as said, we had sung Chris happy birthday two or three times. He was given a shirt from the restaurant with a picture of a gigantic mouse on the front and back, a wine cork which we all signed, and a b-day card from me which had the game hangman on the inside. It became a table wide game and everyone pitched in to help him figure out his birthday gift...a subscription to Cooking Light and a date to a movie.

The night took us to a few other places downtown Chicago before we turned in for the evening and drove back home the next morning. Chris decided the weekend was one of his favorite weekends of the year. Gary decided we should do this every year. I decided Chicago is one of the best cities on earth.

Happy Birthday and Happy Anniverary. May this coming year be as wonderful as the last.

Cats

2006-11-27T21:49:00.000-05:00

And we thought our cats had problems...

http://www.glumbert.com/media/cattoilet

Photos

2006-11-26T19:02:00.000-05:00

It has taken 356 days for Chris and me to print off the pictures saved on our digital camera...beginning with photos from our honeymoon. Sad but true. We have always had great intentions but the number of pictures stored on the camera continued to grow as our albums continued to sit empty. Tonight I spent time filling the albums while Chris put a few pictures in empty frames that have been hanging on our walls. We are excited to announce our camera is finally empty and our frames are now filled with faces we recognize. Yahoo!

The man store

2006-11-14T20:24:00.000-05:00

Also known as Lowes. And it is a wonderful store for Christmas shopping for my husband. It is even better when my husband gives me a list of Christmas gifts that he wrote word for word off of the man store website. He makes my life so easy!! Thank you Christopher. And because you have been such a good boy, Mrs Santa just may get you what you want this year. :)

Apple picking

2006-10-31T20:27:00.000-05:00

Chris and I went apple picking this fall. After pulling a few choice apples off of the trees, we enjoyed some of the apples. The apples were so good we returned the following week to get more apples and we brought a few friends along with us.

Food diary

2006-10-24T21:37:00.000-04:00

My mom and I have started to keep one another accountable for the food we consume. We tried it before but gave up after about two weeks. It is helpful because I know I will have to tell her what I eat and also because it is a great way to stay connected.

I just finished e-mailing my mom and before I hit send, I read to Chris what I had written because...well, because I was sort of proud. Self control isn't my strong suit. In fact, it is probably what I struggle with the most. But tonight, I was successful. No overeating. This is what I was thinking about when I read my food list to Chris. Apparently it wasn't what he was thinking about. His comment to my list: "Not exactly a prime example of the food pyramid." I couldn't help but laugh as I reviewed what I had eaten before the world wide web whisked away my e-mail to Chicago for my mom to read.

Breakfast: oatmeal (Pretty good start I would say. Heart healthy.)
Snack: almonds, cashews, cranberries (Lots of good protein in those almonds.)
Lunch: worked through lunch (Those darn mentally ill children always having a crisis at lunch time.)
Snack: jello with apple sauce (Sugar free jello, unsweetened applesauce. Very tasty. Will give recipe if interested)
Snack: peanuts with a few candy corn (Tastes like a candy bar and not too unhealthy if eaten in small amounts.)
Dinner: heart healthy pancakes with no butter and sugar free syrup (Chris makes the best pancakes.)
Snack: 90 calorie granola bar (I had oatmeal raisin so I worked in more fruit for the day.)
Dessert: 300 calorie white chocolate hot cocoa
small slice of chocolate cake (No redeeming qualities in my dessert other than portion control.)

Admittedly my list wouldn't win any awards from FDA but it is a small victory in terms of self control. I wonder how my mom did...?

Time off

2006-10-19T06:24:00.000-04:00

For the first time in history, I have taken time off of work for no reason. I am not traveling home to Chicago. I am not attending a wedding for extended family out of town and it isn't a holiday. For once, I am taking time off just for me. I realized this last night as I was e-mailing my mom. I shared with recent discovery with Chris and he responded by informing me that I am nuts and a work a holic. He also forbid me to do housework since he knows I could fill my entire two days off finding some sort of cleaning to do around the house. He told me to sleep in and enjoy myself. I was very excited.

Of course I woke up at 5:45 AM this morning, the morning of my first of two days free from mentally ill children, mentally ill parents, and in my opinion, a large number of mentally unstable teachers. I tried falling back asleep. I tried pretending it was a Saturday where I normally sleep in a few extra hours. I closed my eyes, put the sheet over my head, and imagined it was only 2AM and I would regret if I didn't go back to sleep. It didn't work. What is the fun of sleeping in when I can't snuggle up to my husband in bed?

So here I am at 6:30 AM having given up on sleeping. I had to wait to get up until Chris left for work because I knew he would have given me a hard time. He already noted I was too awake for my first day off when he kissed me goodbye. I have already created a list of things I want to do today. I need to go to the library and return my book on tape and perhaps check out another one. I need to schedule a doctor's appointment and get a quick blood draw for which I am 4 months overdue. Let's check my list...change the sheets for my guest coming Saturday night, bake muffins for the bridal shower tonight, wrap my gift, check to see if the favors I ordered for the shower will be here by this afternoon, go to the gym, run to the grocery store, etc... Ah yes, a relaxing day indeed.

Suburbia

2006-09-27T19:28:00.000-04:00

Early evening this past Sunday was the epitome of suburbia perfection. Not that I'm saying this can't happen any place other than in the suburbs or that the suburbs are perfect. Goodness knows I'm a city girl. However, I was at my house when this happened and being that my house, The Dumpling, as named by my mom, is where this occurred, it is henceforth suburbia perfection.

Chris and I had just finished a run/walk (more walk than run) when we saw our neighbor, Wayne, putting together his new light post. Chris decided to help out so after realizing I was more of an annoyance than assistance, I went home and relaxed on the hammock. I was lying there thinking how blessed I was to be in my hammock. I was on my big deck outside of my beautiful house. Not only that but I had the luxury of relaxing. My job doesn't bleed over into my weekends and if I can stay focused on God, I can usually leave my thoughts of work at work. That day the sky was blue with just a few clouds in the sky. The breeze was blowing and the temperature was perfect. I closed my eyes and listened. I could hear the neighborhood kids playing. In the distance I heard the ice cream truck playing its music. The kids shrieked in delight and took off running toward the sound of the music. I leaned over in my hammock and watched the kids run, ride their bike, and roller skate to the corner as the ice cream truck pulled up. Little boys a few streets over trickled into the line that had formed next to the ice cream truck. As each child surrendered their money and received their treat, they slowly walked towards their house with a smile on their face.

I turned back in my hammock and closed my eyes. Ah, suburbia perfection.

In sickness and in health

2006-09-17T21:42:00.000-04:00

Being sick is never fun. I don't care how much complaining I am allowed to do or how much I am babied by my husband, I would still rather be healthy. Since school is back in session, I have had my fair share of less than healthy days recently. About a week into school I woke up during one of my precious Saturday mornings with a fever. The fever lasted only a day but the sore throat/cold lasted a full week. My cough lasted two and a half weeks. By the time I gave the virus to Chris and he was getting over it, my cough was just about over.

Now that school has been in session for just over a month, I am sick again. No fever this time but the cold/head and chest congestion is so awful that I would almost rather have the fever. The cough has returned but not as bad as last time so maybe it will be gone before I give this new virus strain to Chris.

So this is what it means when they say, "in sickness and in health." The "until death due us part" must also have encompassed when I hocked up a luggie while on a walk during brief moments when I didn't want to exchange my body for someone else earlier this afternoon. Poor Chris saw me bend over towards the side walk and I'm sure was concerned I was going to throw up or something equally revolting when I spit out what felt like a golf ball sized wad of phlem. It was nasty but boy I felt better.

I'm hoping that I will be cured in a few days and that maybe, just maybe Chris won't get sick although he has already started sneezing.

Ah, wedded bliss.

Chicago Bears

2006-09-09T18:28:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is a very exciting day for me. It marks the official start to the Chicago Bears football season. The game is at 3:15 against the Green Bay Packers, our nemesis. Chris and I will have to get our Sunday errands done quickly so we can make it to a sports bar to watch the game. FOX is not one of the four television channels we get at our house hence the need for the sports bar.

The sports bar also comes in handy when the one lowly Chicago Bears fan wants to watch the game at the same time the rest of the city wants to watch the Indianapolis Colts game.

The excitement of the football season increased when Chris surprised me by buying a Chicago Bears flag for our house. We had been looking for one but had yet to purchase anything. I couldn't contain myself and had to put the flag up last Sunday as a little taster to the season. I walked down the hall in our house singing what I think was the wedding march while holding up the Bears flag. We took the ceremonial hanging of the flag to the next level by finding the Bears song on the internet. It was quite a moment being able to hang the flag on the house. I added the finishing touch to the house by bringing the Build-A-Bear, donning Chicago Bears garb including a helmet and football, to sit on the couch.

Let the Bears season begin!

Honeymoon Memories

2006-08-09T21:53:00.000-04:00

I think I want another honeymoon. Sandals at St. Lucia here we come!

Weight loss

2006-08-09T20:58:00.000-04:00

Weight loss is an interesting topic. It is on the cover of People magazine about every two months. It seems to be in every issue at least somewhere every week. It is frequently a story on msn.com, my news source, not to mention the main page of aol.com. And that doesn't even begin to touch the ads on TV and in magazines.

The subject is weight is one that Americans are obsessed. We want to lose weight but we don't want to have to actually work to lose weight. We want to, as my mom saw a magazine as we walked through the check out isle, melt off the fat. We want the quick fix. Even if it took us 6 months to put it on, we want to lose it in 6 weeks. We want instant gratification. Welcome to America!

Surprisingly, the topic of how to lose weight isn't want I want to write about. I'm clearly not an expert. I want to write about the attitudes I have come across as I have started my journey to lose weight. It has been very interesting.

I have come to realize that as Americans have gotten fatter, losing weight has no longer become a matter of feeling better about ourselves as much as it has become being thinner than THAT person, whomever THAT person might be at the moment.

Since marrying Chris, I have gained approximately 10 pounds. Since meeting Chris, I am up about 20 pounds. Granted when we met I was doing a lot of modeling, stressed out with graduate school, and probably weighed too little. Alright, go ahead and sling the tomatoes or snarl at me. That is what this post is about...other people's attitudes. After having to buy larger clothes and then having those become so uncomfortable that I had to unbutton, I knew it was time to do something.

I have always eaten relatively healthy but knew my portion control was over the top. I decided two weeks ago to start counting calories. I'm not talking about guesstimating my calories. I keep a little notepad with me and write down everything I eat along with the calories that are in it. The calorie counter on the internet has become my newest bookmark. It isn't easy and it is darn right impossible when guests are in town and we go out to eat. I typically do my best for breakfast and lunch and then try to order something relatively healthy for dinner knowing they are probably serving me 1000 calories more than I actually need.

My frustration comes when others see me writing my calories down and they harass me for being on a diet. Am I fifty pounds overweight? No. Could I be? Sure. That is why I am doing something about it now. Other people get upset that to them, I look relatively thin. It doesn't matter that I feel badly about myself and don't fit in my clothes. I am thinner than them so hence, I shouldn't be dieting and deserve abuse. I had a guy ask me today, "Are you on a diet?" I could tell in his tone of voice that I was in for some chastising words if I said yes so I simply ignored the question...which of course brought about chastising words anyway. It seems that people feeling good about themselves isn't as important. We see what we want to see and if that means we see someone who might not look too overweight on a diet, we look down on them with irritation.

The crux is this: It is socially unacceptable to be on a diet unless we are morbidly obese (a slight exaggeration but I'm allowed since this is my blog). It isn't fair. It isn't right. And it certainly makes counting calories much harder when I would rather eat a dump of cookie dough, have half a gallon of Spouse Like a House ice cream, or eat frosting, cake, or pie until I die.

THE WEEK OF TORREY

2006-07-29T21:09:00.000-04:00

Chris had a celebration a few weeks ago. It was called THE WEEK OF TORREY. Chris invented it and Chris celebrated it. Of course he brought me along for the ride. It was my birthday on July 19th. It was a Wednesday. It wasn't any big deal...or to me it wasn't. However, Chris has a different spin on birthdays. To him, birthdays are HUGE. Hence the week long celebration.

The celebration began with my mom taking Chris and me out the week before since she was in town and would be back home by the time my birthDAY rolled around. It was then, in the restaurant parking lot at the top of his voice, that Chris declared THE WEEK OF TORREY having begun.

The following Monday Chris surprised me by setting up appointments for my best girlfriend and me to have a facial and a head massage at a spa in town. It was incredible. What guy thinks of setting up an appointment and then think of inviting your best friend along? That's right. No one...except my amazing husband.

On Tuesday Chris took me out for sushi which is one of my favorite foods next to chocolate, pizza, and my mom's oyster sauce chicken wings. After dinner he took me to the mall so I could go shopping and buy a dress of my choice. Again, what guy does that?

Wednesday was the real deal. It was my official birthday. If you were to ask me, a great birthday celebration consists of going out to eat and having the people close to you call and tell you Happy Birthday. A card of two also helps. :) My mom and sister called. My dad's call is encompassed in my mom's call. My brother's card and gift arrived on my actual b-day and two co-workers remembered it was my birthday. Not half bad if you ask me. For Chris, not good enough. He made me blueberry pancakes for breakfast and stashed a card in the dash of my car for me to find. He also took me to the Melting Pot which is an amazing way to ingest 5000 calories and walk out feeling like your skin won't stretch over your organs. It was a great day. It was a great birthday. But sadly, it was over. Or was it?

The following day Chris dropped my car off at the paint shop as my final surprise to my birthday. He had the hood of my car painted. I was in a car accident about 6+ months ago and had my hood replaced with a spare part. The spare hood had never been painted so was black. I liked to describe my car as a two toned ghetto machine. Chris had decided it was time for his wife to stop driving a ghetto machine. It was extremely thoughtful and was very exciting when I was able to pick up my one toned car and drive it home.

Yes, I think I have the best husband in the world. The only problem is, what the heck am I going to do for his birthday?

Indy Hash House Harriers

2006-07-15T10:01:00.000-04:00

Everyone has different roles they play. For example, I am a daughter, wife, sister, niece, aunt, social worker, Christian, friend, etc... Chris and I can now add to that list of roles. As of last night, we are now Hashers.

Hash House Harriers (hhh) is a group of adults who get together for a game of hide and seek of sorts. Two "hares" get a 15 minute head start from the "hounds" or "hashers." The two hares bring with them chalk and flour. They create a trail through woods, water, construction sites, or anything they deem appropriate. The rule is that the trail must stay on public property. Being a veteran cross country runner, I figured I had this thing down since in cross country we spend our lives following a line that has been painted on the ground. That is what I expected: a solid line. WRONG! What fun is following a line?

While the hares were out creating the trail, the chalk talk commenced. It was here that I learned the trail might not be as easy as expected. The hares throw down a bit of flour letting the hashers know they are on the right trail but there are also symbols indicating the hashers have reached a intersection and need to search the area to determine the correct direction. The hares also put down marks that can be an incorrect trail. Chris and I ran into one of these last night. After going a quarter of a mile out of our way, we reached a marker that stated we had to count back twelve marks before we would be on the correct trail.

Oh, there is one more thing the hares do to slow down the hashers. The hares put beer on the trail. Amazingly enough, it works! The hares write "BN" in flour which means beer is near and the hashers must search for it. Once found, the socializing that started before the chalk talk begins again. When the beer is gone or the hashers start to get the itch to continue, whistles are blown and everyone picks up where the trail left off.

Last night's trail was an arduous one that weaved through a heavily wooded area and across streams. I managed to roll my ankle which the seasoned harrier behind me saw. He yelled "ankle traps" and the message was passed via yelling to all the runners and walkers that were behind us.

Hashers have their own language as well. When a trail is found, "on-on" is shouted which is then shouted by all those within hearing distance and carried on so every following behind knows. There is also the "on-in", "on-after", "down-down, " etc...

When the trail, which is anywhere from 3-5 miles long, ends, the runners wait for the walkers to arrive and more festivities begin. Virgin hashers are given a ceremony for making it through their first hash. There is much bawdy singing as violations that have occurred while on the trail are given out. Violations are handed down in the form of having to "down-down" a small amount of beer. One virgin hasher wore new shoes. Two others wore shirts with another race logo. Competition in any form is a huge violation so apparently the breast cancer run is competitive enough that wearing the shirt is a violation. Also, the first person to complete the trail commits a violation because for them to have come in first, surely they were running competitively. Chris and I were violated for being too passionate but being that we showed no affection at all (until we were given the violation and I planted a sloppy kiss on him) I think the hasher meant we were too in love. I liked that violation. :) I was also made to "down-down" for having a July birthday. The "down-down" is put into a plastic cup which equals the amount of beer inside of a small dixie cup. When the hashers have finished singing "down-down" and the cup is empty, you indicate that by placing the empty cup on your head...

I could write so much more about this incredibly fun experience but I will have to save some for later. Chris and I will be in Boston next weekend so we will miss the next hash and after last night, we are very sorry to miss any.

As I end this lengthy blog, imagine 30 grown adults running around blowing whistles, shouting to one another, getting lost, drinking beer, and laughing all for any passer buyer to see. Who wouldn't want to do it again?

2006-07-03T18:51:00.000-04:00

2006 Formula One race in Indianapolis, Indiana. This is my part time job. It has gotten much more part time the last few years. I used to do a lot of modeling when I had a job that was very flexible. It is impossible to live in Indiana and be a full time model so all models are part time which means squeezing it into the already busy daily routine. Modeling means the phone rings and if I want a job, I need to be available during the work day usually one or two days later. It is almost impossible to plan around with a full time job and evening or weekend jobs are almost non-existent.

The only modeling I will do this year took place this past weekend. I am one of fifty girls who represent the United Sates at the Formula One, aka: United States Grand Prix. It is always a fun and exciting time. We are known as the grid girls and participate in the opening ceremonies at the race track. We help create the grids that each driver starts the race from. There are two girls at each grid. One of us hold the actual grid sign for the driver. The other girl holds the flag of the country the driver is from. I never said it was a hard job but it is a very fun job. The Formula One race is unlike any other race in the country. The elite, frequently the most wealthy from around the world, come to this race. Huge amounts of money are spent and if I am lucky, one of my wealthy friends takes Chris and me out. This year Chris already had plans so another girlfriend and I spent the race in a very nice suite. It was a great view to see the race plus they had free food and drinks. Poor social workers are always up for free food and drinks.

The other fun part to the weekend are the parties we are invited to. Red Bull is usually the sponsor and being one of the grid girls, we get an invite to each private party that Red Bull throws. Last year Chris and I got to rub shoulders with one of the Ferrari drivers...no not Schumacher. The other perk to the parties is people watching which truly should be a sport in and of itself. The outfits, the hair, the jewelry...all is great fun to watch.

But the event for this year has come to a close. I will wait eagerly for my check from my modeling agency so I can go on a wild spending spree for something exotic like a water softener or towel rods for the bathroom. The possibilities are endless.

Addendum to previous post

2006-06-20T20:10:00.000-04:00

I want to clarify the final sentences in my previous post. Christopher and my family have been nothing but supportive throughout my job hunting and feet dragging. It is a blessing knowing I have them to turn to when I need encouragement. I will continue to write as I go on my journey of finding a new job.

self disclosure I

2006-06-19T18:30:00.000-04:00

I'm dragging my feet.

I don't need anyone to tell me because I already know. My job search has been much discussion but little action.

I'm dragging my feet.

I know my job is not the best fit for me. I like short term relationships with my clients and not the long term "I must come up with something new every week and eventually fix them" relationships. I know, I know...no one who understands my job expects me to "fix" them but yet everyone expects me to fix them. I'm not sure I can make it off of the rewards of having a kid suspended only three times in a week instead of four times after six months of therapy. It isn't enough to keep me going. That isn't even considering the immense amount of pressure that comes with the title of "therapist." I like to refer out to therapists...Not BE a therapist.

So why am I dragging my feet?

After my last job where I was treated so poorly and every day was miserable, I vowed I would be in my new job for years. In fact, I told multiple people that I was here to stay. Initially I loved my job. Burnout wasn't on the horizon and I hadn't begun to feel the pressures of the job. Granted I was also getting married a month and a half after I started so that may have been part of my bliss. Even now, I still love many aspects of my job. My boss is amazing. My co-workers are incredible people. I truly love the children with whom I work.

My biggest problem now: I feel like a failure.

I feel like I went back on my word. I was considering telling my boss I am looking for a new job when a little bird decided to tell my boss first. I have a good enough relationship with my boss where I know she will be understanding and might even assist me in finding a better fit within the social work field. The hard part is that I also know I am disappointing her. Sure, I didn't make a promise that I would stay but I think I made a promise to myself and now I'm feeling the ramifications of that broken promise...to me, to her, to the people on my team.

I made my first phone call today to set up an informational interview. I am nervous because I'm not sure I know my niche yet. I know it isn't therapy but social work is an abyss of options. I'm not sure I can stomach starting all over AGAIN only to discover I was wrong AGAIN. Changing jobs is a frightening endeavor that is full of emotions that aren't easy to articulate.

I don't want to hear, "But you're such a good therapist." I need to hear, "I will support you in whatever you choose, this time and next time if that is what happens."

I will go at my pace and no one else's...not because I don't want to find a job faster but because I need to take care of my emotions as well as my career.

Thoughts on marriage...and Chris' hammock.

2006-06-09T22:46:00.000-04:00

For Chris' half birthday, my parents, brother, and I all pitched in and bought Chris a hammock. My parents have one at their house and he absolutely loves it so we knew it would be a perfect gift. Chris' real birthday is the day of our wedding anniversay. Since I can already buy him winter clothes during Christmas, celebrating his birthday is the summer is much more fun. It also means he doesn't have to compete with any other event. Knowing Chris, he would bypass his birthday all together to make sure we focused on our anniversary. Birthdays are important to me which is why my family will continue to celebrate his birthday on June 3rd.

Yesterday I found out a friend of mine got married March 1st of this year. I was absolutely thrilled for him and couldn't wait to hear how much he liked married life. His response: I hate it. Hate it? How can anyone hate marriage. I know it can be rough. I've heard enough of the horror stories but the marriages that ended after only a few months typically happen in Hollywood, don't they? I'm not an expert after only 6 months but having been married twice as long as my friend, I feel that at least I know what it is like to be in the beginning stages.

I spoke with a previous roommate of mine yesterday afternoon after hearing from my friend about his marriage. My former roommate asked how married life was going. My response: It's perfect. Don't get me wrong. That doesn't mean we never argue, have hard feelings, or occasionally go to bed irritated with one another. If that were the case, I would have said our marriage was an anomaly. Our marriage, in my eyes, is perfect because we go through all of the trials of married couples but we continually strive to work through our differences. We hate those awkward moments of frustration enough to talk about it and get things resolved as soon as possible. We took great care in preparing ourselves for marriage by processing through hurdles other couples frequently run into after making the life long commitment.

Chris and I say please and thank you when one of us does the laundry, dishes, feeds the cats, takes out the trash, etc... Nothing is assumed or taken for granted. We appreciate each another. We help each other. And we completely adore each other. I know tough times with come but with Jesus as our focus, our families and friends as support, and a great marriage as a goal, we will make it through.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

2006-05-31T21:16:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure I have ever heard my mother ordered around more in my life. It was quite amusing. "Get me the teddy bear. Unlock my car. Get my purse. Bring me some lemonade." It was a real hoot, especially since I was sitting in my chair doing pretty much nothing at the time. I could see the irritation on my mother's face and it was increasing with each demand being made.

If you have read my mother's blog, motherofbridebyjan.blogspot.com, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Mary is the elderly woman who came to the garage sale we had last weekend. She is the epitome of the old lady who is set in her ways. To me Mary was, at the least, hysterical and at the most, a nudge to look for a new job. While most everyone else stood around with their jaws hanging out at the absurdity of this eccentric woman bossing my mom around, I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

Mary and I talked for quite a long time. She told me her husband died so that probably made her a widow. I said she was probably right. I asked if her husband died recently or a while back. She said he died in 1991, or 92, or 93...she couldn't quite remember. We talked about their marriage for a few minutes before moving on to how she organizes (or DOESN'T organize) her finances.

Mary made me think back to my days when I volunteered at the convalescent home. I almost always enjoyed being there. I always left feeling like I had been given more than I gave. With my current job, I feel like I give and give and give and give and never ever ever get back. With no emotional supports at the school, it is a lonely and unfulfilling job with rewards that are only found after extensive looking and a really good attitude.

During a recent meeting at work, everyone listened to the book Who Moved My Cheese. It was administrations way of trying to assist us with all of the changes going on.

I have come to a few conclusions which will only make sense if you have also read Who Moved My Cheese.

My job moved my cheese.
It took me a while to figure out my professional cheese was gone because so many other aspects of my life where my cheese hadn't been moved were great. By the time I realized my professional cheese was missing, I was close to starving. Then Mary came along. Mary took a big hunk of yummy cheese and waved it under my nose. I have put my running shoes back on and have started my way into the maze again. I am ready to find my new cheese and I know it will be bigger and better than it was before.

Bossy or not, Mary made a different that day. Thank you, Mary.

Feline friends or foes?

2006-05-22T17:48:00.000-04:00

We have two cats, Moses and Mijo, and we love them dearly. For now, they make great substitutes for children. They need to be fed, loved, and have their litter box cleaned daily. If they fail to receive any of the following, they become irritable, crabby, and will leave unnecessary surprises on our new to us carpet. Overall they are wonderful cats. They are lap cats and enjoy nothing more than sleeping on Chris' chest when he is lying on the couch. They would sleep at the foot of our bed if we let them which we don't because I'm allergic. What was thought to be a simple request from our allergist, "Don't let the cats in the bedroom!" had turned out to be a problem that is only becoming more difficult.

As I think I have mentioned before, I sleep like a rock. Nothing bothers me. Noise? Not a problem. Lights? Never an issue. Obnoxious meowing and pawing at the door at 2:30 in the morning? Don't even notice. What makes it a problem is that Chris does not sleep like a rock. He is a lighter sleeper than my mother which I didn't think was humanly possible.

Has anyone seen the commercial for the cell phone where the kids throw a party, one piece of confetti drops on the floor and the mom hears it on the other end, knows it was confetti, and says she is headed home to break up the party? That, my dear friends, is my husband.

Going back to the cats, the meows and pawing used to start around 7:00 in the morning. Other than weekends when we like to sleep in, this was never an issue. The 7:00 quickly became 6:00 which became 5:30 etc... Last night was a new low. I didn't realize it until I woke up and saw the large sheet of tin foil on the guest bedroom. Apparently Moses had been pawing at the door at 1:30 to be let in/fed. Chris had had it. He got up, got the tin foil, spread it across the entrance to our bedroom door, and went back to bed. Cats aren't supposed to like the noise of tin foil so it makes them go away. Our cats are no different. They too hate the sound. What is different is that our cats are smarter. They moved the tin foil. They must have picked it up in their teeth or pushed it with their paws but it was no longer where Chris had placed it.

I'm not sure what happened in the remaining wee hours of the morning but Chris said that if it happens again, the cats are going in a closet. Any ideas?

Before and after shots

2006-05-13T12:42:00.000-04:00

Here are a few before and after pictures of a few places in our house. It doesn't look like the same house.

Random thoughts on life

2006-05-11T18:39:00.000-04:00

For the record, my husband chose this picture to post. Not exactly my first choice but there will be more to come. For the most part, I painted all the trim in the house and Chris did the roller brush. I didn't take us long to determine which of us is better at certain tasks. After 40 hours of painting, I don't think I can muster the motivation to even write about it. Moving on...

We will have been in our house for two weeks as of tomorrow. We have done little else than work on the house and work at work. I think we were getting in a rut so we decided to go on a date. It was refreshing to get out of the house at someplace other than Lowes, work, or the grocery store and have a sit down meal that neither of us cooked and neither of us had to clean up. We rented a few movies for the cold and rainy evening and settled in to watch what turned out to be a Christmas movie and drink hot chocolate. It was very funny having a perfect cold winter's night in mid-May.

As the rain continues to come down, I feel that there is so much to be thankful for. Chris and I have been married for almost 6 months and it has been the best 6 months of my life. We live in a beautiful home. My dad was able to nail down a job. We have a new niece who is cute as a button. Our families are healthy and my parents are more amazing than imaginable. I am very blessed.

2006-04-30T22:26:00.000-04:00

Here I sit in my new house while Chris puts up shelves in the great room. The cats are tearing around the place as if they have lived here all their lives. Granted that is a bit different than the meows that emitted from their mouths for the 24 hours they were closed in a room while we moved and while they adjusted to the new house. Those meows sounded like the cats were being endlessly tortured. It was awful and woke up Chris and my parents numerous times throughout the night. Not me. You could drop a brick on my head and it wouldn't wake me up. But I digress...

It has been a whirlwind of a week. Chris and I decided to take on the task of painting the entire house. We took last Monday and Tuesday off from work and finished with the paint at 10PM Tuesday evening. We spent the next few nights packing only to finish yesterday morning about 5 minutes before our first helpers arrived. The moving began at 9:00 in the morning and didn't end until 4:00 when the last box was carried into the house. My parents graciously offered their time and drove down to help us. My mother, bless her, stepped off the plane at 5AM from a week long conference in California. My dad picked her up and they drove straight to our townhouse and starting moving boxes and furniture.

It is now late Sunday and Chris and I took off this Monday so we could spend the time unpacking our loads of boxes that filled the 26 foot truck. I never realized how much junk we have. It is amazing how much stuff two people accumulate when they get married a bit later in life. We don't even want to consider how much more challenging things must be for couples with children!!

Chris has been hanging pictures and I have been organizing what I once thought was a big closet. I have an embarrassingly huge number of shoes that somehow had to fit. I did manage to add one pair to the garage sale pile that will take place in Wheaton, IL Memorial Day weekend.

The clothes have been tucked away as well as the sheets, towels, and kitchen utensils. All that is left are the contents from the "miscellaneous" boxes and all of the candles, picture frames, pictures, and little odds and ends that need to find the perfect home. Thankfully this is the fun part and since Chris and I have similar taste in decorating, it should be relatively easy. Our house is slowly becoming our home and we are enjoying every minute of it.

Southern Hospitality

2006-04-23T23:38:00.000-04:00

Chris and I have spent 32 hours working on the painting project known as our house. We took up the ridiculously huge project thinking it wouldn't take half the time it has already taken. We have two days left since we took Monday and Tuesday off from work and we will probably need the better half of the time. Thankfully little angels, Wayne and Kim, have descended upon us and made our job that much easier.

We were in the middle of taping the great room when I thought about when my family moved into the house in Wheaton, IL 20+ years ago. As my parents were loading our boxes in the house, the Vandermolens arrived with cookies in hand to welcome us to the neighborhood. Their daughter and I became fast friends since we were the same age and our families have stayed friends ever since. I had the thought that it would be so nice if someone were to welcome Chris and me to the neighborhood. I quickly laughed off the thought since welcoming someone to the neighborhood happens about as often as someone walking over to borrow a cup of sugar.

Then it happened. Southern hospitality in Indiana.

Not ten minutes after thinking about neighbors, Wayne and Kim came into our lives. Kim is in her mid 40's and Wayne is in his early 60's. Their backyard faces our backyard. They walked over to welcome us to the neighborhood. They were very sweet and the next day, Kim dropped off brownies straight out from the oven. She said that brownies are needed to help sustain us as we worked on painting the house. She also said that we were invited to dinner at their house the next night and they were picking up chicken from KFC. The KFC dinner was tonight and they went over the top in making sure there was enough food. They also loaned us their bright lamps to make painting at night easier and offered to loan us movies from their huge collection to watch after we move in. They are amazingly generous.

Kim keeps asking if so and so from the neighborhood has introduced themselves to us yet. When we say no, she informs us that so and so should be stopping by anytime. Apparently we already have friends who know us via Wayne and Kim.

And so the Southern Hospitality in Indiana goes. Chris and I will continue to get to know Wayne and Kim and will undoubtedly invite them over for dinner or dessert. In the mean time, we will be curious to see who else we will have the chance to meet in this wonderfully friendly neighborhood of ours.

Packing

2006-04-15T14:22:00.000-04:00

Packing. It is quite possibly one of the most detested activities in life for me. Trips are fun but anyone who knows me prepares for the endless amount of moaning and groaning that occurs from the time I think about having to pack until the task is complete.

It isn't that packing itself is difficult. It is my own personality quirks that make packing about as appealing as poking my eye out. I am a highly organized person. My mother loves it because when I come home I frequently organize things in her house that are driving me crazy.

When I arrive at my destination during a vacation, I am usually happy because I have exactly what I need. I don't overpack although occasionally I will underpack. I choose exactly what I am going to wear for each day and place it on my bed as if there were a person lying on my bed wearing the clothes, earrings, necklace, and shoes that sit on the floor as it they were filled with feet.

Now imagine what is is like beginning the process of packing the house... Chris and I try to do a little each day so we won't be overwhelmed once moving day arrives. Of course our differences are now showing their face.

I said we shouldn't seal any of the boxes. Chris packed up the kitchen and sealed the boxes. He also packed up almost all of the food. Aren't we supposed to live here for another week and a half? Where are the pot holders? Did you pack all of the spatulas? Chris ended up opening the boxes.

This morning we spent more time packing. Chris kept working on the kitchen and I was in the living room. I walked into the kitchen and saw all of his packed boxes that were unsealed. He walked into the living room and saw all of my packed boxes sealed. I thought we weren't sealing any boxes? Well...we weren't...but you sealed some. Yes, and I unsealed them. Oops. Broke my own rule. Thankfully he is forgiving.

And now we are off to figure out what color we want to paint the living room... This should be another bloggable (is that a word?) experience.

Food, folks, and fun

2006-04-08T21:27:00.000-04:00

I am very lucky to be married to a man who not only enjoys to cook but is wonderful at it. He also enjoys entertaining which I am horrible at. I get all tense and nervous having people over mostly because I am NOT a wonderful cook. Chris and I have come up with the perfect solution. He cooks while I talk to our guests and pour everyone wine. Side note: We think we are wine enthusiasts but confess we poured the cheap stuff this weekend because good wine wasn't in the budget.

Anyhoo, Chris and I had Hannah and Scott over for dinner. I have known Hannah for a few years as we have done multiple modeling gigs together. If Hannah is with me, I know we are going to have a good time. Last night wasn't any different. Chris cooked sun dried tomato and goat cheese stuffed chicken along with cheese and sweet onion orzo pasta. Both were out of this world. Hannah brought chocolate cake from a bakery nearby and that too was delicious.

When dinner was over we sat around and played a board game Hannah and Scott had brought with them. Imaginif needed at least three players but required the names of eight people. We brainstormed and came up with the four additional names we needed for the game. George W. Bush, the Easter bunny aka: Bunny, Helen who is our modeling agent, and Jesus were all excellent choices. The game turned out to be funny and a wonderful argument starter between the couples as we had to guess what other people would say if put in a certain situation.

Example: Imaginif Torrey were a soup. Would she be chili, french onion, won ton, chicken noodle, and a few other options I don't recall at the moment.

Me: "You said I would be french onion? I hate french onion soup."
Chris, trying to recover: "But french onion sounds sophisticated."
Me, trying to sound irritated but really laughing: "French onion soup has that soggy bread with the dump of cheese hanging limply over the side. What are you trying to tell me?"

We had a wonderful time. And Chris learned I am NOT like french onion soup.

In the beginning...

2006-04-03T18:26:00.000-04:00

For most engaged females, the first thing they do shortly after becoming engaged is create a website for themselves on theknot.com which has great tips and is a creative way to tell others about how you and your fiance met, got engaged, etc... What follows is a little bit of what was on our webpage.

ABOUT TORREY
I remember the day I met Torrey. She walked in the orientation for our graduate program. She was the most stunning woman I have ever seen. With that said, we talked only on a surface level for most of the summer and fall semester. When we had the opporutunity to talk on my birthday, really talk, and learn about how we shared so many of our passions, activites, and most importantly our values and beliefs, something happened that I have trouble putting into words. Torrey is an example of God's grace. Her love is something that I did, do and will not deserve, yet she still does. She is, without a doubt the most amazing woman I have ever met. I can honestly say that her beauty has nothing to do with how she looks. Her heart is tremendously big and her passion she has for her calling as a social worker is humbling. Her constant awareness of her journey with God and her understanding of how our relationship will not flourish if God is not there makes my heart smile. There is never a day that goes by where she doesn't amaze me. My love for her goes far beyond what can be encapsulated by emotions, it is engraved on my heart. I only pray that God will give me the strength to reciprocate the love she has and will continue to give so freely. Thanks everybody. :) I know I am not telling anyone who knows Torrey something you don't already know, and for those of you who haven't had the opportunity, I can't wait for you to get to know her. You will fall in love with her as easily as I have. I am absolutely a blessed man.

ABOUT CHRISTOPHER
I am having difficulty putting into words how I feel about Christopher and what he means to me. How can one describe virtual perfection? When people ask me about Chris, all I can say is that he may not be a perfect man, but he is the perfect man for me. We connect on so many different levels. We can laugh and be silly and a few minutes later, be involved in a serious discussion about what it means to be a Christian in this postmodern era. He challenges me intellectually and motivates me to be a better person. His personal losses in his life have only made him stronger, more compassionate, and more loving. He is a man after God's own heart and Chris continues to keep our relationship focused on where it truly needs to be: Jesus Christ. I love Chris more today than I did yesterday and I will probably love him more tomorrow than I do today. I can't wait to be his wife and to begin our journey together as Mr. and Mrs. Ray. I hope that his parents would have been proud of us and our decision to commit ourselves to one another for the rest of our lives. I only wish they were here to share in our joy. Christopher Andrew Ray is an answer to prayer. He couldn't have come at a better time and he couldn't possibily be more amazing than he is. I love him dearly and will continue to love him for as long as I live.

HOW WE MET
Christopher and I met in our graduate program for social work. We were friends but the kind that talk during break between classes where nothing of real substance is said. December 3rd, we ran into each other at the university. It happened to be his birthday so I invited him out and said I would buy him a drink. We ended up meeting that night and had our first "real" conversation. We connected first on a spiritual level and it only got better from there. We quickly fell in love and knew we were going to get married.

HOW WE GOT ENGAGED
Christopher took me out for dinner and the entire time, I was waiting for him to propose. When we got back to his place and he hadn't proposed, I decided it wasn't going happen and I forgot about it. We started talking and he said he wished he could afford to buy me an engagement ring. I told him that the ring wasn't important. I said all I wanted was to marry him and that he didn't need a ring to propose to me. With that, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said yes and only then did he pull out the most beautiful ring in the entire world.

Welcome to just a little bit more about Chris and Torrey.

From a child's perspective

2006-03-28T22:02:00.000-05:00

One of the kids I work with is not only cute, but very challenging. He has a tough home life and it is reflected in his behavior at school. He will have to repeat the first grade because he reads and writes at a kindergarten level. It isn't that he has a learning disability or is dumb. In fact, verbally, he is beyond a first grade level. The problem lies in his behavior which has been so awful that he has missed tons of school. I now spend each morning helping him start his day off right and have managed to build a good relationship with him.

During our last session, he was being very difficult which, sadly, is not unlike him. He was finally able to verbalize that he missed his teacher and was feeling sad about it. (His teacher was the one I previously mentioned who took a few months off due to stress.) I helped him write a letter to her and he said he also wanted to draw her a picture. He said he wanted to draw a church since that is where his teacher and I see each other. He proceeded to draw a seven year old non church goers version of a church.

He drew what looked like a tepee. He drew Jesus hanging on a cross and tested multiple crayons before he decided which was the right "red" for the blood. The more he drew, the more excited he became. The church was topped off with lights, a light switch, speakers, stairs, excessive amounts of snow, and of course Santa Claus in his sleigh with reindeer and bags of toys for children. The picture is precious and I'm sad to part with it. For a kiddo who has only been to church once with his grandpa, it was quite the drawing.

I brought the letter home and showed Chris. He loved it. I can't wait to give it to the teacher. I know she will be touched.

Fried, cooked, charred, or just plain burned out

2006-03-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

When the substitute teacher walks out and says he is never coming back to the school, you know. When a presenter from L.A. stops in the middle of the all school assembly to say he has never been disrespected by an audience like this before, you know. When a wonderful teacher has to take a leave of absence because she is grinding her teeth at night due to stress from her first grade class, you know. When the new kid you are supposed to add to your caseload gets arrested his second day of school, you know. When you haven't had a day off for 3 1/2 months, you know. You know it is time for the mental health therapist to take a mental health day when the thought of talking to another parent or another child makes you want to crawl in a deep, dark hole. So here I am at 10:40 a.m. on St. Patrick's Day. I'm sitting on my couch blogging instead of providing services to the kids who are about to put me over the edge. My cat is sitting next to me licking out the remains of my banana bread from the tupperware it was in. My other cat is taking part in an activity known as sleeping and I'm about 5 minutes away from joining him. However do I think I will opt for the bed instead of the floor. Let the 3 day weekend away from work begin!

2006-03-14T18:13:00.000-05:00

The Dumpling

Whirlpool and all

2006-03-10T18:14:00.000-05:00

We did it! After much pain and agony, we have chosen a house. We have put an offer down on the house. We have haggled with the seller of the house. We have signed the papers for the house. And we have declared the house to be cute. Adorable actually. MOB is referring to it as a dumpling due to its cuteness, adorableness, smallness, and her need to give everything a name. Chris and I are just plain excited.

The house is a wee bit smaller than the townhouse we are living in now but the difference is that it is OURS!! No more dumping stupidly large amounts of money into rent. The house that will be ours on April 20th is a three bedroom, two bath...three if you prefer bathing in the whirlpool that is sitting on the huge deck out back. The kitchen is large and we have a wood burning fireplace. Those were our two big essentials. I also wanted a large walk in closet but my definition of large and other people's definition of large is completely different. Thankfully the master bedroom closet is MY definition of a large walk in closet.

The only downside to the dumpling is that the living/dining/family room isn't all that big. The current owners have one couch and one big chair along with a small dining room table. Chris and I have two couches, no chair, and a slightly larger dining room table. One of our couches is a recent purchase since previous to that, only two people could sit in the living room at a time. Needless to say we were really excited when we found a wonderfully comfortable and inexpensive couch so that at least 5 people could be gathered together without anyone having to sit on the floor.

One tiny problem...

Am I the only one who has noticed that furniture looks SIGNIFICANTLY smaller in the showroom than it does once is arrives in your house? I practically passed out when it was delivered. We have no idea how we are going to manage both couches in our new living room and we can't afford to make another purchase such as a chair so we would have the option of putting the couch in another room...the kitchen maybe so I could be comfortable when I watch Chris cook dinner. :)

Seriously though, we aren't sure what we are going to do. We are minimalists so we don't like a lot of "stuff." Collections aren't our thing. Nik-naks aren't our thing. Less is more is our thing. So how we are going to manage our more than more two couches is going to be quite the feat. Thankfully, we are up for it. We can't hardly wait to move into our new house...or dumpling if you will.

Life with social workers

2006-03-04T16:42:00.000-05:00

I’m a social worker. So is my husband. We graduated with the same degree in undergrad and graduate school yet we have vastly different jobs. Chris works for the VA and deals with homeless veterans with addiction and mental health issues. I work on the other side of the spectrum and am employed by a mental health agency but my office is in an elementary school. I have my own caseload of kids I am required to assess, diagnose if appropriate, and provide services.

So how does this marriage of social workers play out after a hard day of social work work? Typically one of us...or just me...vents about the day and the frustrations of not having "Brat, Pain in the Butt, Liar, Bully, and a variety of other than less than complimentary but sadly accurate descriptions listed in the Diagnostic Handbook. Instead, I am stuck with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, etc... How limiting!!!

And on the treatment plan I am required to create, I find it a bit binding to not be allowed to give certain thick skulled kids a swift kick in the pants on a weekly (or daily) basis. It might really help a few of these youngsters. Instead I am required to actually talk to them.

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my job. It does have its challenging days and that is where Chris comes in. He understands my need to be un-politically correct for a few minutes. He gets it when I need to make less than sensitive comments since I have spent the last nine hours being sensitive to everyone I come into contact with. This is just a tiny bit of my husband that I couldn’t live without. If I didn’t have it, I am not sure I could be nearly as effective a social worker I like to think I am for the kids. Hopefully I provide the same sort of support for him in his times of un-PCness because when we need to vent, it is like the saying, when it rains, it pours…and boy can it pour in our house.

Listening skills...lost but not forgotten?

2006-03-03T19:18:00.000-05:00

When did listening become something of the past? It seems that whenever I talk to what I assume (my mistake) is a professional, that I need to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over and…you get the picture.

For example, I recently spoke to an insurance agent who mispronounced my name. It was my maiden name for which no one can seem to pronounce. It isn’t a difficult name…Barger. That is said with a soft “g,” not a hard “g.” For sake of understanding, I will write what is the correct pronunciation as “Barjer.” What follows is my conversation with the listening impaired agent:

“Well Miss Barger I have reviewed your claim and I see you sustained some damage from the accident.”
“That is Miss Barjer and yes, I did sustain damage.”
“Oh, I apologize Miss Barjer. Would you mind taking a recorded statement?”
“Not at all.”
“Ok, it is 2:15pm and this is a recorded statement from Miss Barger. Hello Miss Barger.”
“That is Miss Barjer.”
“Oh, ok Miss Barjer…

Five minutes later…

“Thank you Miss Barger for taking the time to answer my questions.”
“That is Miss Barjer and your welcome.”

Did he not hear me the first two times I corrected him? Was there a memory loss within the 10 seconds it took to screw my name up twice? At least I was able to assist him in looking stupid on the recorded statement, not that he needed much help from me.

And then there was the lady from the promotion agency. I called to get confirmation for a promo job I am planning on doing tomorrow. I called, gave my name, and explained what I needed. She responds, “I don’t think we have any more openings tomorrow for auditions.”
“I don’t need an audition. I need to know if I am confirmed for a promotion I was called about for tomorrow.”
“Well I haven’t called the hotline yet but I’m sure we have a few more spots for an audition. Wait, are you already a client?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. Sorry. So you need to know about when the next set of auditions are?”
”No. I need to talk to someone about the promotion tomorrow. Someone from your agency called me about a promotion for SoBe.”
“SoBe like the drink?”
“Ah, yeah. Like the drink. Is Rudy (the boss) around?”
“Noooo. It’s his day off. So this is for SoBe? Wait! Is this the promotion for SoBe? I know about that. When is it?
“Tomorrow!”
“That’s the third time you have said that isn’t it.”
“Ah, yeah.” Etc…

Who decided all of the smart people were no longer going to talk on the phone and reserved those jobs for complete morons? It isn’t terribly difficult to listen. It requires closing your mouth and opening your ears. Granted there are classes in active listening skills so something must be difficult but I’m not asking for active listening. I just want the basics. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so…

Reality Check

2006-02-21T23:11:00.000-05:00

Home buying. Quite the daunting task for those who have never owned their own home. Thankfully, Chris and I have a good realtor and we think we have done our homework. After going house hunting first time last week and then taking a closer look at our budget Sunday night, we have had to re-evaluate what we can realistically afford. What started out as fun has become stressful and frustrating. How can we get what we want and still feed ourselves?? It isn’t like we have overly high expectations. He wants a fireplace and a decent kitchen where he can cook. (Yes, he does the cooking. More on that in another blog.) I want a garage for both of our cars and I don’t want to feel as though I am living in a box. So we ended the weekend with dashed hopes and begin to wonder how anyone can afford a house.

Reality check! That came Monday afternoon when I went to work and visited one of the kids I counsel. (I’m a therapist…aka: social worker, poor but happy.) I started talking to the child’s mom who is a single parent with three kids. She works very hard at her job at Wal-Mart but is in very poor health. But boy is she a firecracker.

I work at an elementary school in what is unofficially the inner-city. Roughly 95% of the kids at the school have free or reduced lunches and 99% of them live in bad neighborhoods. This mom lives in a beautiful neighborhood as the city recently renovated that area. Most of the old houses were torn down, the gang members were kicked out, and the crack houses were boarded up. Now the neighborhood boasts of beautiful houses with professionally landscaped yards. Most of the neighbors are new as well…most, but not all.

This mom I am working with is one of those neighbors who has lived in the same house for 10 years. She shared with me that changes are being made to the renovated neighborhood and that people who rent are no longer welcome. Apparently renters carry a certain stigma about them…poor, uneducated, dirty, and unable to maintain a nice looking house both inside and out. This mom may be poor and uneducated but her house is immaculate both inside and out.

She explained that her landlord is being bought out and the plan is to increase her rent so she can no longer afford to live there, thereby forcing her to relocate. She was upset as she talked about how she lived through the bad times where the gang members would egg her house because she wouldn’t let them park in her lawn, where she had to kick dope dealers off of her porch, and where she had to literally hit the floor when there were drive by shootings. Now that things have smoothed out, she is no longer welcome and although she is going to neighborhood meetings to advocate for herself, the future for her is bleak.

I came home from work yesterday with a different approach to house hunting. We may not have a lot of money to work with but we do have hope, we have options, and most of all, we have the ability to advocates for ourselves and we know people will listen. It is a time to count our blessings and move forward with humility, thanking God for what we have been given for so many others have been given less.

Lucky Lady

2006-02-15T21:19:00.000-05:00

For Chris and his cohorts, it was called Operation V Day. For me, it was the holiday I detest more than any other. Valentine’s Day is equally as disgusting as Sweetest Day. Both are designed for couples to spend ridiculous amounts of money on each other and for single folks to feel absolutely rotten about themselves. I have spent far too many of these holidays on the latter end…although I do recall actually breaking up with a few gentlemen on that oh so special February 14th occasion thereby making myself part of the single crowd.

Every since last year, Valentine’s Day has had a slightly different meaning for me. Valentine’s Day 2005 was the day I started dating Chris and realized that he was the man I was going to marry. I even recall calling my mom the next day and telling her just that.

On this special day, Chris and I had decided not to do anything for one another as I had already gotten him a small gift the week prior and he had made me dinner over the weekend. The short of it: Chris changed his mind. The long of it: You are going to love this…

I walked out to my car and inside was a single red rose, a Hallmark card, and a digital recorder. I listened to the recorder and he explained why this day was special to him and that I was starting a scavenger hunt. I had to listen to each clue one by one and guess where I was supposed to go. The first clue led me to the Build-A-Bear store where Chris had prepared a Chicago Bears bear for me. (I’m a die-hard fan.) The girls at the counter couldn’t get over how much fun Chris was to work with and how excited they were with what he had planned for the evening as they had begged him to share what his other clues were.

In the next clue, I was informed to lower my visor and a coupon for a free car wash fell out. To truly understand how much I appreciated this, you need to realize that when I was recently in a car accident and was asked by my insurance company the color of my vehicle, I promptly replied, “It is the color of mud.” Sad but true. Now it is sparkly brown. :)

Next I was told to go to our favorite jewelry store. Mind you that it isn’t our favorite because of their beautiful jewelry but for their scrumptious, soft, and absolutely delicious cookies. I was told to go in and ask for someone who knew me. Not knowing anyone who might know me, I found three employees and explained what I needed. They all laughed, called to other employees, and I soon found a crowd of company employees around saying that I had finally arrived. Apparently Chris had made quite the impression here as well. They handed me a company bag with a red bow on top. I opened it and inside was a handful of their cookies wrapped in plastic wrap with a bow around it. It was creative, adorable, and had everyone laughing.

I drove home and there was Chris with my favorite meal from our favorite Chinese take out place. After eating, giving him what now looked to be quite the pathetic Valentine’s Day card I made from construction paper, we were about ready to turn in for bed. As what seemed to be an after thought, Chris pulled the drawer of the coffee table out and handed me a box from the jewelry store I had previously visited. Inside was an absolutely beautiful necklace with diamonds and a ruby, my birthstone.

Chris out did him self. He is quite possibly the most thoughtful, creative, and loving individual I have ever met. And somehow I have the privilege to be his wife.

He also made me look like an absolute schmo in the process but I will take it. Paybacks will be fun! I can’t wait to get started…

Surprises

2006-02-11T12:39:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows that it is common for a couple to be given more than one of the same wedding gift. Some couples receive multiple crock pots. Others, like my friends Michelle and Brad, receive multiple unregistered items with their names and wedding date on it thereby making it unreturnable...which is quite possibly one of the gravest sins known to man. Chris and I were given, between actual books, books on cd, and lectures on cd, around 12 books/cd's of marital advice. Don't get me wrong. I think that everyone could use marital advice, some couples more than others. However, I also think that we have received more than our fair share.

I am in the middle of one of the books we received and many pages have been devoted to the topic of expressing love in the form of extra touches. I thought this was a relatively big no brainer because the "extra touches" are something Chris and I excel at doing. Today is a great example. Chris signed up to participate in a research study to help bring in a few extra dollars for us. This meant that he was going to be gone all day today and tomorrow. I decided I was going to surprise him and make an elaborate dinner and dessert for when he arrived home. I had just finished going through our recipes and picking out what I was going to surprise him with when he called and said he was sick to death of the study and was coming home. He then told me that he and my girlfriends' husbands had been planning on surprising all of us tonight by sending us to a salon and making us dinner. For a multitude of reasons, the scheduling made it impossible to keep it a surprise so he had to tell me. I am not the least disappointed he did as it saved me a trip to the grocery store.

What I appreciate is knowing that both of us were planning on going out of our way to express our love for the other. It is slightly humorous that we were both going to surprise each other with dinner on the same night. Great minds think alike.

Needless to say that not only do I feel very blessed to be in a relationship where we both recognize the importance of the "extra touches," but I also don't feel much of a need to make it through the other 11 books/cd's on marital advice. For the moment, I think we are doing just fine.

Weighty issues

2006-02-06T23:26:00.001-05:00

Everyone knows about the college freshman fifteen. Not as well publicized is the Master’s make-you-lose-twenty-pounds-because-you-are-so-stressed-out. Sadly, Chris and I have been well informed about the weight gain that will surely come with marriage. From what I have heard, no one really lets you know you are gaining weight. It becomes one of those whispers between other women who comment about how matronly you are becoming. “Gee, she must really be enjoying married life but it seems to be catching up.” Come on now. Be honest and have the decency to say to my face, “Gee Torrey, you really seem to be packing on the pounds since you got hitched.”

It isn’t that I am eating that much more. It is more about the gym factor. What is it about married life that makes the gym so unappealing? I used to love (take the word love with a grain of salt) going to the gym. It was incredible emotional therapy. Shedding the calories so I could have my chocolate wasn’t bad either. Now it seems that the gym is my personal torture chamber. Chris knows me well enough to drag me there because he knows I will beat myself up if I don’t go at least a few times during the week. Even with him there it is still horrible. I try to get excited. Favorite magazine? Check. I-Pod? Check. Cool looking water bottle with the sticker from when Chris and I went white water rafting? Check. Although I don’t think I have cleaned it for a while so it smells a bit like feet. I am fully armed with toys in hand and shoes on my feet. I get to the base of the treadmill and all I can think about is how I would rather chew my arm off than get on and start running. And yet I do. I run and I run and I try to think about how much better I will feel when I am finished.

Well, I finished. I did it. I went running. Workout for tonight? Check! And somehow all I can think about is how I would still rather chew my arm off than go running again tomorrow. Post wedding pounds? Bring them on!