Weight loss

Weight loss is an interesting topic. It is on the cover of People magazine about every two months. It seems to be in every issue at least somewhere every week. It is frequently a story on msn.com, my news source, not to mention the main page of aol.com. And that doesn't even begin to touch the ads on TV and in magazines.

The subject is weight is one that Americans are obsessed. We want to lose weight but we don't want to have to actually work to lose weight. We want to, as my mom saw a magazine as we walked through the check out isle, melt off the fat. We want the quick fix. Even if it took us 6 months to put it on, we want to lose it in 6 weeks. We want instant gratification. Welcome to America!

Surprisingly, the topic of how to lose weight isn't want I want to write about. I'm clearly not an expert. I want to write about the attitudes I have come across as I have started my journey to lose weight. It has been very interesting.

I have come to realize that as Americans have gotten fatter, losing weight has no longer become a matter of feeling better about ourselves as much as it has become being thinner than THAT person, whomever THAT person might be at the moment.

Since marrying Chris, I have gained approximately 10 pounds. Since meeting Chris, I am up about 20 pounds. Granted when we met I was doing a lot of modeling, stressed out with graduate school, and probably weighed too little. Alright, go ahead and sling the tomatoes or snarl at me. That is what this post is about...other people's attitudes. After having to buy larger clothes and then having those become so uncomfortable that I had to unbutton, I knew it was time to do something.

I have always eaten relatively healthy but knew my portion control was over the top. I decided two weeks ago to start counting calories. I'm not talking about guesstimating my calories. I keep a little notepad with me and write down everything I eat along with the calories that are in it. The calorie counter on the internet has become my newest bookmark. It isn't easy and it is darn right impossible when guests are in town and we go out to eat. I typically do my best for breakfast and lunch and then try to order something relatively healthy for dinner knowing they are probably serving me 1000 calories more than I actually need.

My frustration comes when others see me writing my calories down and they harass me for being on a diet. Am I fifty pounds overweight? No. Could I be? Sure. That is why I am doing something about it now. Other people get upset that to them, I look relatively thin. It doesn't matter that I feel badly about myself and don't fit in my clothes. I am thinner than them so hence, I shouldn't be dieting and deserve abuse. I had a guy ask me today, "Are you on a diet?" I could tell in his tone of voice that I was in for some chastising words if I said yes so I simply ignored the question...which of course brought about chastising words anyway. It seems that people feeling good about themselves isn't as important. We see what we want to see and if that means we see someone who might not look too overweight on a diet, we look down on them with irritation.

The crux is this: It is socially unacceptable to be on a diet unless we are morbidly obese (a slight exaggeration but I'm allowed since this is my blog). It isn't fair. It isn't right. And it certainly makes counting calories much harder when I would rather eat a dump of cookie dough, have half a gallon of Spouse Like a House ice cream, or eat frosting, cake, or pie until I die.